The Forgotten Memories
by EsTeLweNadia
Summary: As the title suggests. How some forgotten memories are being recovered, without meaning to. More inside. Coauthored with emeraldwind. The same story she posted, only this one is thoroughly edited and updated. Almost complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: The Forgotten Memories

**By**: Rachel Hunter

**Summary**: If you have read The Forgotten Memories of **emerald-wind**, you have read mine.

**Rating**: General. A mix of this and that.

**Disclaimer**: The Saiyuki gang isn't mine. They are all Minekura Kazuya's. (I'm so jealous!) But Shinguji Shimara is. And Shi Mou Rou is emerald-wind's.

**Author's Note**: Well, as my partner is terribly busy, I decided to post up this story again, complete with updates.

As always, comments and constructive criticism are immensely appreciated.

Go on… read…and enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**CHAPTER ONE: INSTINCT**

It was raining, and what a heavy downpour it was. Raindrops splattered mercilessly on every unfortunate, exposed surfaces, accompanied by the rumbling of thunder and flashes of lightning. It was raining so heavily that one could see no more than 3 feet. With the enraged howling of a chilly wind and the rolling of thunder and the noise of the raindrops as they impacted on the surfaces, one could hear almost nothing else. It was during such rainy day, or night, rather, that Sanzo and Hakkai would shatter into pieces, especially Sanzo, who would became twice as dark, cold, moody and frightening, like the rainy night itself.

"Great, this is exactly what I need," Shimara Shinguji muttered under her breath as she dashed through the rain, ignoring the unpleasant squelch of her shoes and her extremely wet clothes clinging onto her skin. "Getting wet and having a ten-fold moody Sanzo to yell his lungs out at me. Sure, rain does bring out bad memories, but so what? It doesn't give him the right to yell at me, or Goku, or anyone else! It is me who is soaking wet, not him!"

She continued to run through the rain, unafraid, undeterred but absolutely pissed off. At the rain. At herself. She would have brought an umbrella along before she left the inn, but she didn't, and here she was, worse than a wet duck. Even if she brought an umbrella, it was no use... she would get wet just the same. The rain... she didn't count on the sky to go all teary tonight, and she didn't want to know what made the angels above so distressed.

"I know I said I like the rain," she berated angrily at herself, pumping her legs harder while hoping not to slip and fall, "But this is ridiculous!"

Just then, it hit her. The deep, sinking feeling that something would go wrong wrenched her stomach and wrapped her heart with dread. A feeling that... a disaster would cometh, but the most frustrating and frightening of it all that she had no idea what the disaster would be, but she knew it would happen. She tried to tell her self that it was just an inane paranoia, but it was no use... she trusted her instincts. Her instincts would never be wrong. And now, even as she was running with all speed towards the direction of the source of her uneasiness, she desperately hoped that she was wrong.

Soon the inn where the Sanzo-ikkou had bunked in came into view. As she neared, the feeling of utter anxiety and dread became stronger.

"No, no, no," she moaned, feeling her chest tightened, "not them! Let it happen to anyone, anything, but not them! Please, let them be alright! Please, don't let me be too late!"

She burst into the inn, dripping wet and panting. Her eyes scanned the area for the Saiyuki boys, who were sitting at a corner drinking hot coffee and munching biscuits, but for some reason her eyes were transfixed on the cup from which Goku was drinking. Before she knew what she was doing, she screamed and lunged for the startled boy.


	2. Chapter 2: The Interference

**CHAPTER TWO: THE INTERFERANCE**

"Damn," Gojyo cursed, "It's raining real heavily outside."

Sanzo glared at him, massively irritated. "I don't need you to remind me!"

Gojyo looked at Sanzo, his eyebrows raised in askance. "I'm not reminding you, you stupid Blondie! I am worried about Shimara!"

"Who are you calling stupid Blondie, Redhead?" Sanzo asked, his voice dark and dangerous.

"Who are you calling Redhead, you stupid Blondie?" Gojyo challenged, imitating Sanzo's voice but failing miserably.

"You really wanna die?" Sanzo snarled, pulling out his spirit-ascending gun and aiming at Gojyo.

Gojyo grinned and put his hands up in mock surrender. "Not now. Not here. Chill, okay?"

Sanzo cursed and put his gun away. "Irritate me one more time and I won't hesitate to blow your brains outta your head."

"Yes, your highness," Gojyo teased, only to stop when Sanzo gave him a killer glare.

"Is Shimara going to be okay?" Goku asked, reaching for a chocolate cookie while looking at them with huge golden eyes. "I mean, it's raining so heavily outside and she didn't even have an umbrella with her."

"She'll be fine," Hakkai replied reassuringly, "She is probably waiting in a shelter right now for the rain to die down."

"I don't think so," Gojyo said, furrowing his brow in thought, "She's not the type of woman who can wait. I bet she is running through the rain."

Goku scrutinized Gojyo quizzically. "How do you know, Gojyo?"

Gojyo looked at Goku in amusement. "I know a woman when I saw one, Monkey-boy."

"There's no need to call me 'Monkey'!" Goku said angrily.

"Maa... maa... don't start it now, guys," Hakkai intervened before Goku and Gojyo started their usual bickering. "I won't save you if Sanzo really wants to shoot you."

"Okay, okay, quieting now, "Gojyo relented, glaring at Goku, who glared back. Goku then turned away from Gojyo and looked at Sanzo imploringly.

"Ne, Sanzo..." Goku began hesitantly, then trailed off.

"What?" Sanzo snapped, glaring at the boy.

"Aren't you drinking your coffee?" Goku asked timidly, "You haven't touched it since the waitress served it half an hour ago."

"Why? You want it?" Sanzo leered.

Goku looked up at him with hopeful golden eyes, tipping his own cup over to show him how empty it was.

"Fine, take it," Sanzo said irritably.

"Sankyu, Sanzo!" Goku chirped happily, taking Sanzo's still full cup of coffee and raising it to his lips. He frowned inwardly.

_Strange, _Goku thought, _it's still lukewarm. It's supposed to be cold by now, considering the weather... Ah, to heck with it all! I'm still thirsty!_

No sooner he had taken three sips, Shimara burst into the inn, looking really wet. Her sapphire blue eyes instantly fixed on him, and all color drained from her face.

"Goku, no!" She screamed, "Don't drink that!"

Goku raised his eyebrows questioningly, not understanding. That's when Shimara leaped, covering the distance between them and landing beside Goku. She quickly knocked the cup out of Goku's hand and lips.

"Hey, whaddaya do that for?" Goku complained.

"Don't drink that," She repeated, panting. "It's been tampered with."

Gojyo stared at her. "How do you know?"

As if on cue, Goku's eyes rolled back and he slumped backwards. If Shimara wasn't behind him to catch him, he would have fallen from his chair and injured himself pretty badly.

"Goku!" Hakkai cried out, pushing back his chair and ran around the table towards Goku. Sanzo looked as if he was horrified and wanted to curse at the same time.

"Dammit!" Sanzo finally decided on cursing.

Gojyo suddenly froze, his senses highly attuned. "The culprit... He's hiding somewhere outside. Let's go get him!"

"I'll go with you," Shimara said, brushing her wet hair off her brow.

"No," Sanzo spat vehemently. "You and Hakkai stay and guard Goku and find out what's wrong with him. I and Gojyo will drag the culprit here."

As Sanzo and Gojyo turned to leave, Hakkai called out, "Be careful!"

Gojyo gave him a thumbs-up before he and Sanzo disappeared into the rain.

There was a moment of tense silence.

"Let's bring Goku inside," Shimara suggested, her voice betraying how weary she was.

Hakkai nodded, standing up and carrying the comatose Goku in his arms. "I'll bring him inside. Shi, in the meantime you have a warm shower and change into clean and dry clothes before you fall sick. I'll look after Goku."

Shimara flashed Hakkai a smile. "Thank you for the concern, Hakkai-kun. But that can wait. I have to analyze what's in the drink first before Sanzo and Gojyo return."

"But what if you fall sick, Shimara-chan?" Hakkai asked, worried.

Shimara smiled. "Don't worry. I can get well really fast. Besides, I don't get sick easily."

"Whatever you say, Shimara-chan," Hakkai said in defeat. He walked towards the stairs and disappeared in one of the rooms. Shimara looked on, a small smile playing on her lips.

Shaking her head in amusement, Shimara went back to the table where the Sanzo-ikkou once dined in. Her face became grim as she set on to business.


	3. Chapter 3: The Culprit

**CHAPTER THREE: THE CULPRIT**

"Where the hell is the coward?" Sanzo fumed, whirling around and aiming his pistol at nothing in particular.

Gojyo did the same, carefully inspecting the surroundings. It was still raining, though not as hard as before, but was still enough to flip Sanzo into a darker mood.

Suddenly they heard a noise; a noise so faint one might missed it if he didn't pay close attention. They turned to the direction of the noise just in time to see a dark shadow leaping from a tree branch to another. The movements seemed oddly familiar.

Gojyo sent his shaka jou's curved blade flying through the air, like a heat-seeking missile. Sanzo was already on the move. Despite his sodden robes, Sanzo moved real fast, tracking the cowardly assassin down with his gun and his sharp eyes. Whoever was planning to harm him was not going to get away easily.

The dark figure leaped onto the next branch, but before he could land, Sanzo shot the branch, snapping it into splinters. Startled, the dark figure drew back to the previous branch, only to find Gojyo's chained weapon wrapped securely around his torso. With a smirk, Gojyo tugged at his weapon and sent him crashing down onto the muddy ground.

"Nice teamwork, Blondie," Gojyo commented, panting only slightly.

"Shut up!" Sanzo snarled. He holstered his gun back into his shoulder pocket and marched towards his captive.

"I'm going to teach you what will happen to those who mess with me and think they can get away with it," Sanzo growled, then ripped the mask out of the captive's head--

and dropped the mask onto the ground. Gojyo's eyes widened when he realized who the assassin was.

"Shi Mou Rou?" Both of them sputtered in shock.

The woman on the ground grinned humorlessly, but triumphantly. "Glad you guys still remember me."

"It is a mistake of us to let you off in one piece last time," Gojyo said darkly after his shock had worn off. "We should have let you off, in a bag, you old hag! Now look at what have you done to Goku, _again_!"

Shi frowned, then looked up at Sanzo intently. She answered back in a defensive tone, "Well, what can I say? Sanzo's luck… yet again…saved him, and in return, Goku… _again_… was the one who took the blow meant for Sanzo. Ya can't blame me if the little monkey-boy is just plain stupid!"

Sanzo was close to slapping her. "_Shut up_! Stop saying it's luck. I don't believe in that junk. The fact is, you're just an amateur… and this just proves it! It wasn't so long ago that I recalled you saying that, next time, you'd beat us in a _fair_ fight. Heh, I should've known that you most probably weren't capable enough to keep your word. What a disappointment it must be for you."

Shi Mou Rou blinked. "You remembered what I have said to you before I suggested the cure for Goku? You remembered what I said in the letter?"

Gojyo snorted. "Of course. We always remember our enemy's parting words."

Sanzo's vein twitched. "You're dead this time, Shi! After we get the antidote from you, I swear I will kill you!"

Shi Mou Rou turned pale. Somehow she knew from Sanzo's voice that he wasn't just threatening but she tried to show that she wasn't scared at all.

"Is that a threat?" She asked, grinning viciously.

Sanzo's eyes narrowed as he glared at her in contempt. "No, it's a promise."

That wiped the smile off Shi's face. Sanzo snorted as he turned away from her to face Gojyo.

"Let's get back to the inn," he said gruffly. "We decide on what to do with her there."

Gojyo hauled Shi Mou Rou to her feet, all the while keeping a death-like vice grip on both of her hands to prevent her from getting away. Without a word, the three of them headed back to the inn in tow, with Sanzo leading the way.


	4. Chapter 4: The Revelations

**CHAPTER 4: REVELATIONS**

Shimara was combing her hair when Sanzo and Gojyo entered the inn, dragging someone with them -probably the culprit. Sanzo looked worse than pissed off, and even Gojyo looked dark.

"Yo, Hakkai, Shimara, we got company," Gojyo called out as he dumped the captive onto one of the chairs. From where she was standing, she couldn't see the culprit clearly.

Shimara frowned -the captive looked oddly familiar, no, way too familiar- but she didn't want to press her luck. She approached them warily, and when she could see the culprit clearly enough, the comb slipped from her fingers and clattered to the ground with a loud, resonating thud.

_It can't be…_ Shimara moaned silently, _it can't be! Please, let me be wrong! Please, let she not be her!!_

Surprised at her reaction, Sanzo and Gojyo looked at her questioningly. Hakkai came down from Goku's room to the inn lobby, wondering what the fuss was all about when he saw a frozen Shimara, a dropped comb and finally, the astounded captive.

"Shi Mou Rou?" He said, shock colored his tone.

That seemed to snap Shimara from whatever trance she was in. Taken aback, Shimara whirled to face them.

"Wait, you guys know her?" She asked, obviously confused.

They gave her a strange look. It was Gojyo who finally answered, "**Of course we know who she is! She tried to poison Sanzo, but Goku was in the way, so it was Goku who took the poison instead of him."**

**Shimara was totally bewildered. "You mean, this isn't her first time of her assault on you guys? This isn't the first time Goku got poisoned by her?"**

**"You got that right," Gojyo replied, casting a weird look at her.**

**"Wait, Shimara-chan," Hakkai intervened, confused by the whole situation. "You know her as well?"**

A shadow crossed over Shimara's features, a shadow they all knew too well. From her look, they could have easily guessed that Shi Mou Rou was related to Shimara's past.

"How can I not?" She replied evenly, far too evenly. "She was my best friend."

"Nani?" They all gasped, even Shi Mou Rou gaped stupidly at her. "Excuse me?"

Shimara nodded wearily. "Yes. Shi Mou Rou was my best friend in my younger years. We were so close and inseparable that many people mistook us for twin sisters."

A brief silence, then Hakkai spoke up, "What happened, then?"

Shimara raised her sorrowful blue eyes to stare at them, then her gaze fixed on the woman in front of her. Shi Mou Rou felt defenseless with the look she was getting. She felt something stir in her, but she couldn't understand why… she didn't even know who this young woman was.

"Remember the story I told you about? About my parents?" Shimara continued, her voice soft with hidden emotions.

They all nodded. Shimara had told them the story-- A gang of youkais had killed her parents brutally when she was just a mere seven-year-old. She was there to witness the youkais left her dying parents lying in a pool of blood in their wake. She was there to hear her parents say their last words, urging her to be strong no matter what happened, and that they loved her with all their heart. She was there to witness her parents exhaled their last breath, and watched them slowly stiffened. The whole event was a nightmare to her, even now.

Gojyo was horrified. "Don't tell me she masterminded that attack?!"

Shi Mou Rou's eyes widened as events started to play in her mind. There she saw a grave, and then looked slowly to her side, at a young girl with Shimara's features who held her mouth in mourning… She tried comforting her, but the vision ended there. Then, the next scene were all shots of people she never knew, who she didn't even think she met any time in her life… and yet, they were all smiling at her, as if they had shared so much; as if they had gone through so much... Shi Mou Rou shook her head. It was like a sealed box in her mind had opened- without her consent. She fought back by shutting her eyes. She shot her gaze back at the woman once more. The woman who she recognized in her vision, mourning by her side.

There was a strained laugh from Shimara's constricted throat. She didn't even notice Shi Mou Rou's reaction, "No. She wasn't the kind of person to kill someone in cold-blood. And she was there with me when I mourned on my parents' graves. She was there to give me moral support and slowly shook me out from my world of grief. She was there when I needed her! Just as I was there for her when her father died of being poisoned. Or, at least I believed he was…"

Shimara's last few words triggered something in Shi Mou Rou's memory, she saw once more, shots of someone she often saw, someone she by then realized was no one else but her father. Her heart ached, as her head did. She didn't understand why all this was happening. She wanted to know more; she wanted to know if it was all true… could it really have been that she actually had a friend? A best friend? She wanted to hear all the answers, she longed so much for them. But deep inside her, she rejected it. Maybe she had been mistaken for someone else.

Shimara inhaled deeply. "Someone pitied my situation back there and adopted me. He was not that old, but he was kind, like my father. I trusted him, and even loved and respected him like one. He knew all about Shi Mou Rou as well, including the death of her father. But then..."

Her eyes bored into Shi Mou Rou's. "One day, I was training in the backyard of Shugo's house, well, that's his name... while waiting for him to return home but he was late. He was never that late. And then I got this feeling that something wrong had happened to him -it was the same feeling that told me that Goku was in danger just now- so I ran, following my instincts and I found him, lying behind a bush in a pool of blood."

A long pause. Shi Mou Rou looked up, despite the confusion that was driving her insane right there. She tried her best to show that she wasn't affected by Shimara's story, and so she grinned once more and broke the silence, "That's too bad… But what are you trying to say? That I killed him? Sorry, but I don't remember anything at all… I don't know who he is, and frankly, I think I got you confused with someone else!!!"

So fast they barely flinched, Shimara launched herself at Shi Mou Rou, lifted her up from the chair in a strong chokehold and slammed her up onto the nearby wall.

Shimara snarled. "No, I don't think so. The last few words I heard from him is your name, Shi! He said that you killed your own father, and you had already left for somewhere very far. Maybe he knew a little too much about that little secret of yours, so maybe the person whom you were leaving with sent some ugly bastards to kill him. Don't you remember that, Shi Mou Rou? ...or should I say… Kisami?"

Shi Mou Rou's eyes widened as she desperately tried to pry off Shimara's grip from around her neck. "I don't remember! I swear as hell I don't remember anything! I don't remember anything about you, or anything about you being my ex best friend! If you really have to know… the reason why I'm even working with Kougaiji is to get my memories back! I don't know if what you're saying is true, and I don't know if I really am who you say I am… but if you really want to prove it all, I suggest that you try not to kill me first!!!" At the back of her mind, she was desperately trying to fight off the images once more. And at the sound of that name, her mind was going out of control. She was slowly losing breath as Shimara's grip tightened. She knew she wanted to die, to end it once and for all… but at the bottom of her soul she knew that Shimara was her key… her key to her past. She couldn't die now!

"Liar!" Shimara spat.

"Honest!" Shi Mou Rou said, her voice laden with fear. Dark spots swam in her vision and her head throbbed with the lack of oxygen circulating in her brain.

"I think she's telling the truth, Shimara," Hakkai said softly. "Maybe you should let her go before she passes out. I'm sorry about what happened… and I know Shi Mou Rou looks very familiar to you… but right now, you can't really prove it. Right now, you're not sure if you're confronting the right person or not."

Shimara snarled, then reluctantly released her grip on Shi Mou Rou's throat. Shi Mou Rou dropped to the ground weakly, gasping for breath. Deep inside her heart, she was grateful to Hakkai for saving her life from this mad woman.

Shimara was breathing hard and fast, fighting to rein her rage and grief within the deepest corner of her heart. This was so not the time to be angry, not when Goku was still unconscious.

She heard Shi Mou Rou gasping for breath behind her, and coughing to clear the tightness of her throat. Shimara's gaze darkened, her eyes narrowing with too many emotions to count.

Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo waited patiently for her to calm down, and when she finally did, the ultimate danger was over.

"I guess you are right, Hakkai," She said softly, her voice strangely calm. She glanced at Shi Mou Rou, who had recovered and was now staring back at her with confused eyes. "Shi Mou Rou is not Kisami. At least, she is not the Kisami I know. Both of them are different, even though they have the same appearance. Anyway, I'll overlook the matter for now, since there is more important thing to attend to."

Another silence, then Sanzo snorted, "Humph! About damn time! Thought you have forgotten all about it!"

Shimara grinned as she strode over to her male companions, and from the grin, they knew Shimara was back to normal.

Meanwhile, Shi Mou Rou sat dumbfounded on the floor, her mind and body numb. Although she was aware that the ropes that had bound her limbs had slackened, she couldn't quite bring her body to move; to escape. Her so-called enemies were talking about something but her senses were too muddled to make out exactly what are they saying. Her world now revolved around the names: Shimara, Kisami and Shugo. The names sounded alien to her, and yet a tiny part of her did admit that the names were somehow related to her past.

Her head ached; as it often did whenever she tried to remember the things she had long forgotten. She pushed the pain aside, and with a new surge of determination she forced her brain to recover any memories that were related to the names, or Shimara's story. They refused to come out, and her head hurt even more.

Then, like a sudden volcanic eruption, dozens of images flooded her mind. They came in such a quick succession that she barely had time to take them all in. All she could see was a laughing and smiling young Shimara, her grinning dad waving at her, and hearing their laughter and shouts of joy. Then those images faded away. Darker images now took their place, and as quick as they were, Shi Mou Rou could see her friend weeping hysterically beside a grave, her dad coughing out blood, then herself kneeling mourning beside her father's grave, images of Kougaiji approaching her, then another young man -Shugo? - asked her where she was going. The images dissolved into splashes of blood and screams of agony, and the voice of someone calling out her name.

Shi Mou Rou clutched her head in absolute agony, moaning in pain as more of the visions assaulted her already distorted mind. Through the torrents of ruthless flashbacks, the voice called her name again, adding to the pain she was experiencing.

"Leave me alone!" She screamed, backing away from the reach of the person. She curled tighter into herself, trying to keep her past as far as possible, while wishing everyone and everything in the world to leave her alone.

But that annoying person did not understand. Hands gripped her shoulders with a painfully strong vice, and shook her really hard.

"Oy, Shi!" The voice shouted, successfully penetrating through the haze in her mind. "You gotta snap out of it now! I mean it! Snap out of it. Now!"

Slowly the images faded away, and she forced her eyes open to the painfully bright surroundings. Her head throbbed, and her surroundings spun crazily. She blinked, trying to focus on the figure in front of her. Concerned, worried and questioning azure blue eyes filled her vision, belonging to the one person she now recognized.

"Shimara?" She murmured, gazing up into the clear pools of blue ocean and felt herself drowning in them, but the waiting darkness surged from its hiding place and consumed her vision hungrily. She remembered falling and falling, into someone, then everything went peacefully, blissfully black.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How is she?" Hakkai asked as soon as he saw Shimara trudged wearily down the stairs.

Shimara shrugged; her expression unreadable. "She'll be fine, I guess."

"Now what the hell had just happened?" Gojyo demanded. "First, Goku passed out from Gods-who-know-what reason. Now this. And we are taking care of our enemy. What the world is coming to?"

Shimara shot him a glare. "And what are you getting at? Shi Mou Rou's not our enemy. Not yet anyway. Until we have found out the reason why she works for Kougaiji."

"There's no need to find out why," Sanzo said coldly. "She's our enemy. Period. Anyone who works with Kou and the bunch of the fighting gods, or who attempts to steal the sutra from me is defined as enemy. Full stop."

"And she tries to poison one of us," Hakkai pointed out reasonably. "Not once, but twice. I'm sorry to say this but that makes her our enemy as well."

Shimara stiffened, her eyes narrowing. For a moment, they glinted darkly, then it was gone; disappeared under the mask.

"Okay, fine, whatever," Shimara said, "But let me just make this clear. Shi Mou Rou is our enemy, true, I can't deny that, but Kisami isn't."

There was a brief, tense silence.

"Agreed," Sanzo said, staring at her with his piercing amethyst eyes, which were unreadable as well. Shimara met his gaze without flinching.

"Okay, enough for the staring competition," Gojyo announced, clapping his hands together. "Let's get back to business. Now that Shi is out cold, she can't tell her to tell us what's in the drink, and since one of us here had analyzed the potion when me and Blondie went off to capture the culprit in the rain, I would like to invite her to share with us the results."

Shimara cast an amused look at Gojyo, "There's no need to make it sound like a game show, Gojyo."

"Tsk!" Sanzo said irritably, clearly at the end of his patience, "Just get on with it."

Shimara cleared her throat. ""Okay, fine, I'll make it quick alright? Geez, now I remember that someone among us here needs a beauty sleep, or he'll go dangerously cranky without it."

Gojyo burst out laughing at this. Even Hakkai flashed a broad grin. Sanzo seethed, "Temee...! Kono-baka!"

"Hey, hey, hey," Shimara protested, holding her hands up in front of her as if to ward Sanzo's anger off. "I don't specifically say who, so that person doesn't have to be you, Sanzo. It can be Hakkai, Gojyo or me."

Gojyo laughed. "She's right, Sanzo." Then he frowned, "Now why do I need a beauty sleep?"

"You said you'll make it quick," Sanzo said through gritted teeth, "but all I can see is you delaying it!"

"Okay, fine!" Shimara said, annoyance creeping in her voice. Sanzo really doesn't know how to joke. "This is the Cliff Notes version of what I had analyzed from the drink earlier on. That potion in the drink is very concentrated, and it is called -I forgot its name- anyway, if Goku drank all of the coffee, he will suffer from _total_ memory loss. Since he drank only a little -ehem, thanks to me- he will only suffer from amnesia. So in this period, it's probable that he may not be able to remember our identity- or even his own…"

"This is bad," Hakkai murmured as he began to realize something. "Are you trying to say that during this brief period of amnesia Goku will remember parts of his past?"

Shimara shrugged, "Perhaps. There's a possibility that he will."

"Is there an antidote for it?" Sanzo asked.

Shimara nodded. "Should be. I don't know if Shi has created the antidote or not, but if she hasn't, she better do it quick, because if we are to leave Goku to recover on his own, there are chances that he will not remember us at all. Same thing if we are to leave him like that for too long."

"How can that be?" Gojyo asked, a little horrified.

It was Hakkai who answered. "Most potions are like that. Antidotes and cures need to be created quickly to avoid complications. In worst cases, such complications can lead to insanity and death."

Gojyo shuddered. "Let's hope that's not the case with our saru."

Sanzo stood up. "Let's," he said darkly, then turned away from them and walked up the stairs to his own room, leaving his friends in a daze.


	5. Chapter 5: The Recollections

**CHAPTER 5: RECOLLECTIONS**

Gojyo, Shimara and Hakkai watched as Sanzo left them, quietly going to his quarters. It was obvious that Sanzo was just as troubled as everyone was, except he never really wanted to show it.

Shimara blinked after him. "Maybe it's a good idea if we check up on Goku."

Hakkai looked at her and smiled. "Yeah, good idea. But someone has to keep an eye on Shi as well."

"Fine, fine..." Gojyo answered casually as he waved his hand, "I'll watch Shi and you two watch over Goku."

Hakkai smiled, "Make sure you just call us when she comes to."

Gojyo got up and walked to the unconscious Shi Mou Rou, whose hands were still tied and was lying on the floor. He lifted her, grunting a bit. "Humph... you're kinda heavy..." he grumbled. He carried her to a vacant room and placed her on the bed. Retreating to an empty chair, he sat on it and watched the comatose assassin.

Meanwhile, Hakkai and Shimara sat comfortably beside Goku, who was still in deep slumber. A mix of emotions filled them as they looked on, enjoying the serene look of the boy's face, a world empty of worry but filled with vibrant energy. Both of them anticipated the moment Goku would open his eyes; they wanted to see that he was alright. But they feared that, at that moment, it would be inevitable for him to be unable to recognize them, or himself.

"Sanzo usually has a very strong effect on Goku..." Hakkai suddenly shattered the silence. Shimara glanced at him, her eyebrow raising slightly.

"Yeah, I know."

"But I'm a little worried..." Hakkai's voice trailed off, hesitating, "what if even he can't bring Goku back?"

"We won't know unless Sanzo tries. Since Goku didn't drink too much of that coffee, maybe he would still be able to recall a few things...let's just hope he does."

The discussion was interrupted as Goku started to mumble incoherently in his sleep, his brow creased in mild anxiety.

"Goku?" Hakkai called, hoping that he was finally regaining consciousness.

"Mmmm..." Goku simply answered, his voice muffled. He started to move his arms and legs.

"I'll go get Sanzo!" Shimara said, getting up, undeniably excited. She ran out of the room, and a minute later, she came back with Sanzo, who was just as surprised.

Goku stretched lazily, as if he had just taken a nice, long nap. He rubbed his eyes, and slowly, he opened them. He looked up and saw a man, smiling brightly, a young woman, who was also smiling back at him, and another man, with blonde hair, who looked almost apathetic- if it wasn't for his eyes.

"Goku!" Shimara cried joyfully, absolutely relieved. At least the boy was okay, physically.

Goku looked up at them, and studied each of their faces. There was a long pause. He looked at Shimara and then answered back in a confused voice.

"Goku? Ano... who is he?"

The smiles on Hakkai's and Shimara's face dissolved. Even Sanzo's eyes seemed to have turned to a darker shade. This was definitely it...

"He doesn't remember himself..." Sanzo murmured in a low tone.

"Huh?" Goku looked up at Sanzo, he smiled brightly, pointed at Sanzo and said happily, "Your hair... it's so bright... like the sun!" He grinned, hoping that the blonde-haired man would say something... anything...

Sanzo was dumbfounded. It was a strange feeling of deja vu, as if Goku had said that phrase to him once before, if only he remembered when and where. Shimara and Hakkai stared at him, noticing his expression. Sanzo shook his head, discarding the thought.

"Do you remember who I am?" Sanzo asked frankly, "do you remember anyone in front of you?"

Goku looked up at him, his golden eyes huge and innocent, like a child. He looked at everyone once more. Then he slowly shook his head, as if he was scared to give an answer, and was afraid that his answer might be wrong.

"It's alright," Shimara reassured him, "we're your friends, Goku. You're safe with us." She smiled softly, comforting Goku and hoping that he would not be frightened of them just because he did not know them, for now.

"Friends? That's great!" Goku answered enthusiastically, now sitting up and grinning delightfully, as if nothing had happened.

"Let's start here, okay? I'm Hakkai," Hakkai pointed to himself, "Her name is Shimara," he followed, "And he, is Sanzo." He smiled as he gesticulated at Sanzo.

"Ohhhhhhhhh!" Goku squealed, his voice was that of his younger self, and as he came to realize something, "And I am... Goku? ... or is that someone else? Another friend that is not here?"

"Uhhh..." Hakkai scratched the back of his head, not sure how to answer Goku. He glanced at Shimara, who nodded encouragingly at him, "Yes, you are Goku... you're the only Goku there ever is!"

Shimara smiled, "Hey, Gojyo doesn't even know that Goku is up already!"

"Ohhhhhhhh! Gojyo? I have more friends?" Goku said cheerfully as he hopped off the bed.

"Yes, Goku..." Hakkai said, thinking of something which might test just how much Goku could remember.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gojyo continued to stare up at the ceiling. He was, as they would say, "dead-bored". It seemed like ages until Shi Mou Rou would finally wake up and relieve him of his goddamned boring chore.

He grumbled, his eyes still fixed on the cream-colored ceiling. "I wish I could be sleeping like them... so I wouldn't have to keep watching the spiders...or counting the cracks in the tiles...," he mumbled to himself. He paused when his ears picked out a noise.

He sat upright once more as he heard footsteps heading to the room. The rhythm of the footsteps seemed familiar. His eyes grew wide, anticipation building in him as he hoped that he had made a correct guess.

"Goku!" He screamed in surprise as he saw Goku standing there, looking around the room as if he was a lost child.

"Yes! That's my name! How did you know?" He said cheerfully, "Who are you, by the way? Are you the ero-kappa?"

"Temee...!" Gojyo roared, reaching for him and stopping himself just in time when he remembered Goku's current condition, "Oy Goku, you better not joke around like that!"

"So...You ARE the ero-kappa!" Goku jumped in delight.

- BAMMMM! - Gojyo hit Goku on the head, like he usually did. "That's all you can say after that long sleep?!"

"Itai!" Goku complained as he cradled his head in pain. Teary-eyed, he whined and looked up at Gojyo with an injured expression. "Why did you hit me?" He wailed.

Gojyo paused. He remembered what Shimara had said earlier on- _Since he drank only a little -ehem, thanks to me- he will only suffer from amnesia. So in this period, it's probable that he may not be able to remember our identity- or even his own…_

"No..." Gojyo shook his head. "You don't know me?"

Goku pouted and answered, "The woman named Shimara told me that you were the horny water monster... but I didn't know that you actually hit me on the head..." He sniffed.

"No way..." Gojyo still couldn't believe it. Goku was like a child in front of him. And what hit him most was that Goku didn't recognize him, of all people.

"I... I'm Gojyo..." Gojyo stuttered as the pandemonium of his thoughts continued.

Goku looked up at him, wiped his eyes and smiled a bit. "Hello, Gojyo." He said it somewhat hesitantly, but soon his grin grew wider and held his hand out, for Gojyo to shake. "I'm Goku... though you already know that huh? Gojyo is a much better name than horny water monster- and shorter too!"

Gojyo smirked. "Yeah... hehe..." He glared warningly at Shimara, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"C'mon, let's go downstairs and eat breakfast!" Hakkai said, smiling gently. "Everyone is hungry now."

Goku jumped in joy. "Yeah... breakfast! I'm hungry!"

Shimara smiled. "C'mon then. Eat your heart out. I'll treat you, don't worry."

Goku frowned. "Eat my heart out? How? And I don't want to eat my heart. Why should I anyway?"

At this, the three of them burst out laughing. Goku looked at them in bewilderment and annoyance. "Why are you all laughing? What's so funny?"

Gojyo struggled to calm down. Now the only laughter that was visible is on his impossibly wide grin. "Nothing. When Shimara said to eat your heart out, she doesn't mean that you should eat your heart. 'Eat your heart out' means that you should eat until you don't want to eat anymore."

A long pause as Goku crunched in brows together in deep thought. Then he finally looked up, his face downcast. "Oh...so that's what you mean... gomen..." He brightened up suddenly. "Really? Do you mean it? Can I really eat uh... my heart out?"

Hakkai smiled. "Yes, of course."

Goku bounded down the stairs, with Hakkai descended behind him. They chose by the window, and from afar, Shimara could see that Goku was happily chatting with Hakkai as he waved the menu about. The sight touched her to the quick.

"Gojyo, aren't you coming down with us?" Shimara asked, arching an eyebrow at him in askance.

Gojyo shook his head, his crimson hair dancing about as he did so. "No, I'm too tired and sleepy--" As if to prove his point, he yawned long and hard. He rubbed his eyes sleepily. "--to go down, much less to eat. You two go on ahead. I'll join you guys later."

Shimara nodded. "No problem. Go ahead and sleep. It has been a long night for all of us. Hakkai is tired too. After you have rested enough, it's your turn to take care of Goku while Hakkai slept. Deal?"

"Yep, deal," Gojyo said, but he hesitated. "How about Shi? Who'll watch her?"

Shimara smiled, a smile that made Gojyo's heart flutter, "Don't you worry your pretty little redhead on it, Gojyo dear," she drawled. "Leave everything to me. Now run along to your bed."

Gojyo saluted her tiredly. "Yes, Ma'am." Before she could say another word, Gojyo slipped past her and entered the room. He collapsed onto the first bed in his path and immediately fell asleep. Shimara chuckled softly as she closed the door. Turning around, she almost bumped onto Sanzo, who looked grimmer than ever.

"Gomen..." she apologized. "Hey, are you joining us for the meal?"

"No," was his immediate reply. Then he stalked off to his own room, and she winced as he slammed his door shut. She frowned, not entirely pleased with Sanzo's behavior.

"Shimara-neechan!" Goku shouted from downstairs. "C'mon, let's eat! I'm starving!"

That seemed to jolt her from her trance. "Hai. Hai. I'm coming!"

She ran down the stairs and rushed to where Goku and Hakkai were waiting for her. We really gonna have long, long days ahead of us, she thought wistfully as she joined them, but looking at Goku, the thought dissolved away...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Where am I?_ That's the first thing Shi Mou Rou asked herself as soon as she doggedly reached the surface of consciousness. Bright lights stabbed her eyes, making her head spun. When her vision finally cleared, she saw trees looming everywhere and there was a faint laughter of children resonating throughout the quiet atmosphere. Shi Mou sprang to her feet, staggered, and then stood straight, frowning and ignoring her headache at the same time.

"Where am I?" She repeated aloud, disbelief and confusion in her voice as she whirled around slowly to survey her surroundings. "Why does it look so familiar?"

As if to reinforce that thought, two young girls bounded into view, laughing merrily as they skipped about.

"Let's stop here," panted the one with startlingly familiar blue eyes and long blond hair. "I think we got away from them far enough."

Another girl with shorter black hair and twinkling hazelnut eyes giggled, but she complied. "Man, I've never had so much fun in my life before."

"Whose idea was it?" the blue-eyed girl said, glancing at her friend and grinning mischievously.

"Okay, okay, it's your idea," the other girl admitted, glaring at the grinning girl. "But it's always your ideas that bring us troubles. That creates troubles. Your ideas are always crazy, Shimara."

Shi Mou Rou stifled a gasp. _Shimara?_ Is that really her when she was younger? Could it be that the other girl was...?

"As crazy as they are, Kisami," Shimara said, her voice conveyed mild annoyance as she snorted and crossed her arms, "it was undeniably, undoubtedly fun and thrilling. Even you admit it just now."

"Whoa!" that girl, Kisami exclaimed, putting up her hands up in front of her, "There's no need to get all flustered about. That's what I like about you. Daring, crazy but fun."

Shimara sent a sidelong glance at Kisami, a sly smile playing on her lips. "Even more thrilling than making or mixing potions, right?"

Kisami glared at her best friend. "Definitely not. The thrill of mixing potions is incomparable to your crazy ideas of crazy fun."

Shimara laughed at that. "Yeah, you're right. Watching the desk you're working on blow up and your new hairstyle and complexion after that is way much funnier than my crazy ideas of fun."

"Shi!" Kisami warned.

"Okay, okay, yeesh..." Shimara giggled. "It's true, ain't it?"

"Shi, if you say another word, I'll shove a Shut-Up potion into your mouth," Kisami threatened.

Shimara and Kisami locked gazes, then they suddenly burst out laughing.

"There they are!" A man shouted, followed by the sound of rushing footsteps.

The two girls were quick to regain their composure, but their faces still sported huge grins, and laughter or two still managed to escape from those lips.

"Uh... we gotta go," Kisami gasped out, in between giggles. "We'll be in deep trouble if they got a hold on us."

"All thanks to me," Shimara said proudly, then broke into another fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"Enough laugh," Kisami chided, although the grin on her face made her look amusing instead of intimidating. "Let's scram!"

"Let's!" Shimara agreed, and broke off into a swift run.

"Oy! Wait for me!" Kisami yelled, and soon she was hot on Shimara's heels. "You are so dead, Shi!"

Shi Mou Rou stood there, dazed and confused as the two girls ran past her as though she wasn't even there. The enraged villagers raced after them, ignoring her completely. Only then she realized that she was just a presence there, nothing more.

"Kisami..." she murmured, "So that's me...but why...how?"

The scene suddenly flickered out. Shi Mou Rou spun on her feet, terrified and unsure of what's going to happen next. Darkness overwhelmed her awhile, and then, there was light. Blinking, her eyes adjusted themselves to the light, and soon as she was able to see again, she realized that she was staring right into her father's gentle and loving eyes.

"Come, Kisami, dear, come, let me give you a hug," her father said soothingly, his hands outstretched towards her.

Shi Mou Rou hesitated, totally unsure if her father was talking to her... but she missed him... really missed him...so that burned away her hesitation. She reached out her hand, straining to reach her father's coarse fingers. Their fingers almost touched... but a sudden rushing figure came at her with such speed her body instinctively leaped away. Gasping more of a surprise than fatigue, she saw a sniffling image of her younger self dashed towards her father's waiting arms. She watched as her young self threw herself into her father's arms. The man hugged the little girl, kissing her hair and murmuring soothing words.

"It's going to be alright, darling... it's going to be okay, so now don't cry, okay... dear?"

The girl sniffed, but didn't stop crying.

The man -her father, she corrected mournfully-- embraced the girl tightly. If this was her past, she couldn't even remember why she was crying back then.

"B-but...but..." she heard her own younger self sobbed. It is weird, to hear your own voice from other person's body, even if it comes out from your younger self. "Michu has broken her arm. I tried fixing her but look..." Kisami raised a doll with a hanging arm, "... it came off again."

She would have burst out laughing if she wasn't feeling so sad right now. That was ridiculous... her crying because of a broken doll... she dimly remembered that the doll was her favorite and only doll.

"It's okay, darling," her father consoled her lightly, "I can fix it up for you, silly."

Kisami looked at him with huge, hopeful, innocent but tear-filled eyes. "Really?"

The man laughed and kissed her on her cheek. "Of course. Now stop crying and be a strong girl, okay?"

Kisami flung her little arms around her father's neck and planted a loud kiss on her father's withered cheek. "Thank you father! You're the best! I love you!"

The man chuckled, "I love you too, my sweet angel."

Kisami might have stopped crying, but Shi Mou Rou was weeping quietly now. The scene was so touching...she wanted it to burn into her memory. If this was her past...

Her reverie was rudely interrupted by a sudden flash, and the whole scene blanked out. Confused, she found herself standing in a cemetery, and in a distance she saw the same two girls, but only Shimara was weeping. Her younger self was consoling and comforting the mourning girl.

"Shi...I understand your loss, but we have to go now," Kisami told her softly, pulling Shimara's shoulder gently. "It's getting dark now, and it's going to rain, anyway."

"I don't wanna go," Shimara mumbled, almost incoherently. "I wanna stay with them."

"Shi, they can't come back to life," Kisami told her as gently as she could, "Even when you shed crimson tears, they can never come back."

"It's all my fault," Shimara said, her voice filled with self-loathing, guilt and heavy grief. "I should have come back earlier. No, I should have stayed and protected them. But I didn't... and now... they..."

"Hush, now, Shi," Kisami murmured, holding her grief-stricken friend as she wept. "The death of your parents is not your fault."

Shimara snapped her head up, and despite the tears Kisami could see a flicker of cold and well-controlled fury, not aimed at her but to the murderers. And whoever they were, they would suffer a terrible agony if Shimara had managed to hunt them down. Shimara glared at Kisami. "How can you say that? If only I followed my instincts and rushed home, this would not have happened! I am their only child. I supposed to be able to protect them, to die first, not them! It's my entire goddamned fault!!"

"Shi, that's enough!" Kisami said sharply. Shimara looked at her in surprise. "Stop saying it's your fault when you know jolly well it isn't!" Shimara opened her mouth to speak, but Kisami overrode her. "And as far as I am concerned, it isn't your fault. It isn't your fault that some ugly bastards sent some youkais to kill them. It isn't your fault that you weren't there to save them. It is also not your fault that they are destined to die on this day. They died because of a reason, and that reason is simply not you. They wanted you to be strong, right? Then be strong! Do you think they like to see you crying every second and killing yourself? You think they like it when you die too to join them? No! They'll be terribly disappointed, Shi! The only thing you have to do for them now is to live! To be strong. For them. For yourself. For others..." Kisami softened her tone, staring pleadingly into Shimara's glistening blue eyes, "For me...Please...don't be like this. It hurts me to see you crying. It hurts me to see you suffering like this. You are strong, I know you are... and even though they have left you behind... you are not alone...because you still have me."

Shimara was speechless. She looked up at Kisami, her voice revealed painful uncertainties. "Really?"

Kisami nodded. "Yes. I'm your best friend, now and forever, and you know it. We share everything together. Your pain is my pain. I won't leave you alone, Shi, believe me. I won't leave you alone to suffer all by yourself."

To Kisami's huge relief, Shimara began to smile, despite the tears that shone in her ultramarine blue eyes. The smile was one of a relief and gratitude, and it touched Kisami to the quick.

"Thank you, Kisami," Shimara whispered, crystal tears cascaded on her cheeks as she flung her arms around her best friend's neck. "Thank you…I don't know what I'll do without you."

Kisami embraced her friend tightly. "It's okay, Shi, it's okay. We are friends, remember? That's what friends are for, right?"

Shimara's answer came out as a stifled sob. Then, for a few long, silent minutes the two friends sat in the cemetery, hugging each other as if they didn't ever want to let go.

From afar, Shi Mou Rou watched, unconscious of the tears that trickled down her cheeks. She felt touched, humiliated and stupid…because she all this while did not know…was unaware, that Shimara, whom she thought as a rival/enemy, was actually her sworn best friend. She felt humiliated, that all the promises she, the young she, made to Shimara, that she won't leave Shimara alone, won't leave Shimara alone to suffer all by herself, turned out to be meaningless. She had left Shimara in the midst of the confusion… and worse, forgotten that the friendship between them ever existed, that she knew Shimara at all.

The scene flickered and then disappeared. Shi Mou Rou found herself witnessing her father's death once more, how her young self panicked as her father coughed out blood, because of her own carelessness. Then she was suddenly in the cemetery, now it was Kisami's--her young self's—turn to weep, and the young Shimara desperately trying to console her. Another scene, a young, well-built man approached them and took them under his wings. Shugo, no doubt, took care of them the way their parents did, until one fateful afternoon she was approached by none other than Kougaiji, who whispered sweet, false promises into her ear, tarnishing her young brain with monstrosities and lies. And she, she realized with shame, trusted him enough to follow him, to betray her best friend, and adoptive father-figure, who came just in time to see her leave with Kougaiji. A brief commotion, and then before she knew what happened, Shugo was lying in a pool of blood—his blood—and dying. Kisami was horrified beyond words but Kougaiji did something to her, and then she didn't remember anything anymore, except that her name was Shi Mou Rou from then onwards, not Kisami. As Kougaiji led her away, Kisami managed to look back, caught a fevered look of betrayal and shock in Shugo's pained violet eyes and then she walked away, without looking back. But her heart and mind was screaming… and Shi Mou Rou, the real Shi Mou Rou, screamed in utter denial and terror… and she kept screaming and screaming until the whole scene blanked out…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shimara and Goku was laughing at a funny joke Hakkai told them when a scream of terror ricocheted from the room upstairs, shattering the dawn's silence.

"What's that?" Goku asked, his eyes huge and innocent with curiosity.

Hakkai looked just as confused, but Shimara's face was tensed with worry and dread. "You two stay here," she said tightly as she abruptly stood up. "I'll go check on Shi Mou Rou."

Before either of them could say anything, Shimara was already dashing up the stairs and disappeared into Shi Mou Rou's room. Hakkai looked at Goku, then both of them followed Shimara up the stairs. Gojyo greeted them outside his door, frowning and looking irritated. How can he not? That scream disturbed his sleep.

"What the hell?" Gojyo asked, heavily annoyed.

"I don't know," Hakkai answered honestly. "Shi Mou Rou is screaming, and Shimara is tending to her right now."

In Shi Mou Rou's room, Shimara was on the bed gripping Shi Mou Rou's shoulders and shaking her violently.

"Hey, Shi, wake up! Wake up, dammit, wake the hell up!!" Shimara shouted, her face tight with worry, her voice laden with dread. She felt a sense of déjà vu; she remembered the time when Kisami was having a nightmare and she, a young she, was shaking her out of her night terror. Like now…

Shi Mou Rou's eyes finally fluttered open. The pools of hazelnut chocolate were glazed from the nightmare but there was a spark of recognition and untold relief reflected on the surface of the pools. Then it quickly faded away, and guilt and regret cast a film on those eyes now, much to Shimara's alarm.

"Shimara…?" Shi Mou Rou whispered hoarsely, tears running down her face when she realized who was holding her.

Shimara felt herself being dragged into her past…back then when she was the one who comforted a crying Kisami…like this, after a nightmare…

"Yeah," Shimara replied, her voice strained.

"I'm sorry," Shi Mou Rou whimpered, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

"Shhh…" Shimara hushed, rocking her friend as she gently brushed away the tears.

Shi Mou Rou's shoulders shook as she wept. "I remember my past now…the gist of it…it was so…overwhelming…I was wrong…I wasn't supposed to leave you…I…"

"Shh…" Shimara hushed her again. "It's fine…You rest okay? We'll talk about this later, alright?"

Exhausted and emotionally drained, Shi Mou Rou nodded. Leaning against Shimara, she closed her eyes. With Shimara rocking her gently and murmuring a soft lullaby, Shi Mou Rou fell asleep. After awhile Shimara gently lowered her friend/enemy on the bed, pulling up the blanket up to her chin. She stood gazing at the sleeping figure mournfully; her face a storm of too many emotions to count. Then she walked out of the room.

"Whoa…what's all that about?" Gojyo mused as Shimara closed the door gently behind her.

"Shi Mou Rou got a nightmare…or a recall of her past, it seems…" Shimara replied quietly.

"So now she can remember her identity?" Hakkai inquired, sounding hopeful.

"Not sure," Shimara said distractedly. "We can talk to her tomorrow."

"Yeah," Sanzo grunted, lighting up a cigarette. "Next time we talk to her, it will be in Kou's lair."

Shimara whirled on him, her eyes flashing with anger. "What's up with you, huh, Sanzo? Are you saying that I am betraying you?!"

"Probably," Sanzo replied coldly, "If not now, then in the future, perhaps."

Shimara seethed, wanting so much to lash out with her fists at Sanzo right now and there. Instead she took a deep breath. Now is so not the time. When she exhaled, she felt nothing but extreme exhaustion. "Fine. Whatever you say, Sanzo…"

She turned around and walked away, leaving the foursome paralyzed in the corridor. As she faded out of sight, they heard her voice said, "Keep an eye on her, but don't hurt her. If there's a need to, I will be the one to do that."

Then nothing. Everything became silent again.

"Geez, Sanzo," Gojyo finally said, breaking the silence. "You are being unreasonable. It's not fair to treat her like that!"

"Try to imagine someone in our group in the arms of our enemy," Sanzo retorted. "Or caring for him. Eventually, what do you think will happen? Betrayal, that's what!"

"Not necessarily," Hakkai replied coolly. "Shimara is not that type of person to betray us, in any way. Just look at her situation right now. Our enemy, or who we believed to be, is her long-lost best friend. Now that they are together, with Shi Mou Rou now regains her past, how do you think she will respond to it? Act like nothing happen although all this while she has been missing and worrying about the well-being and whereabouts of her best friend? Now that they are together you want to rob her of the happiness she just met with?"

"It's difficult for her, you know," Gojyo added, frowning. "Our enemy is her best friend, and her best friend is from our rival's party. Here she wants to be close to her again without having us to accuse her of betraying us, or her friend betraying Kougaiji. It's complicated, but I know you got the gist already. So, before accusing her of betraying you, try to be in her shoes first."

Sanzo snorted and was about to turn away from them when Goku suddenly started to moan softly in pain. Everyone looked at him at once. Goku was clutching his head in silent agony.

"Goku, are you alright?" Hakkai asked him gently, worriedly.

"I…I…" Goku started, then swallowed hard, "I…I think the women look familiar…but I…can't remember where or when…you guys too…look familiar…"

Gojyo laid a hand on Goku's small shoulder. "It's okay. You needn't need to force it. When you finally remember, you can tell us, okay?"

Goku nodded and smiled up at Gojyo. Gojyo felt his heart rend into two…hell, the normal Goku don't even look this innocent…

"C'mon Gojyo, you go take a shower." Hakkai told him. "I'll wait for you downstairs."

Gojyo nodded. Grabbing a towel he made a quiet way to the bathroom.


	6. Chapter 6: The Confession

**CHAPTER 6: THE CONFESSION.**

At the inn's small restaurant, directly in front of the lobby, Gojyo whistled appreciatively when Shimara and Shi Mou Rou descended the stairs towards them. How can he not? Both of them were very stunningly gorgeous even with their usual outfits, especially Shimara who was the most dazzling between the two of them. She wore a black outfit that barely clung to her. Thin straps ran behind her slender neck and held the bodice in place. Despite the bare shoulders, sleeves covered her arms from mid-biceps to her wrists, a runner of wispy material flaring out into a triangle shape on each arm. The bottom of her outfit was a pair of long black pants with generous pleats that dropped to soft black boots. A short, shapeless cape with a high collar draped from her shoulders to the back of her knees, fluttering gently in the breeze. Though it was the same outfit Shimara always wore, Gojyo was certain that this morning she looked entirely different, entirely gorgeous than before. With her golden blond hair piled atop of her head like a crown, held in place by long, ivory needles with tiny green stones in the ends, she looked like a warrior princess descended from heaven, dressed to kill.

The two women smiled sexily in return. Despite the charming smile she gave to Gojyo, Shi Mou Rou felt nervous and embarrassed inside. Here she was their enemy and they treated her as a friend. Or an equal. Sanzo, as usual wore his pissed off face, Hakkai welcomed their arrival with a kind and polite smile, and Goku, Shi Mou Rou realized with guilt, was ignorantly cheerful. Up till now he still didn't know who had kinda poisoned him last time.

"Ohayo," Hakkai greeted them as they elegantly sat on the available chairs at the table.

Shimara smiled. "Ohayo everyone. What's in for breakfast today? I'm ravenous!"

"Everything that Goku ordered," Gojyo replied, winking mischievously at her.

"Good," Shimara responded cheerfully. "Are we going to eat now, or what?"

"Now," Sanzo replied. "I'm afraid after hearing the whole thing I will have no appetite to eat."

Shimara nodded. "Understood."

"But one more thing," Sanzo said, glaring at Shi Mou Rou, "I'm not going to pay for whatever she eats."

"Agreed," The women replied simultaneously.

"It's okay," Shimara said brightly, "I'll pay for her. Furthermore I got a lot of money to waste."

"No, there's no need to," Shi Mou Rou protested, alarmed. "I have the money."

Shimara grinned. "It's okay, girl. If I remembered correctly, it was you who had treat me last time and if I remembered correctly, I had said to you that I will sometime treat you, or pay you back even though you insisted to me not to. So now, that time has come, and you cannot refuse me, or I make your life perfectly _horrible_!"

Shi Mou Rou laughed. "Yes, boss!"

During their brief exchange, Hakkai and Gojyo did grin in amusement. The two women were indeed really close,

regardless of what had happened between them. It's sad now that destiny forced them apart, on two separate sides, thus disabling them from being as close as before.

After the breakfast, and after the waitress cleared their table, Shi Mou Rou knew the most difficult time of hers had arrived. The time for her to confess and correct everything. It was hard, and Shi Mou Rou dreaded that moment but she knew that it was inevitable. Shimara studied her carefully, and from those ultramarine eyes Shi Mou Rou saw the unmistakable flash of understanding and sympathy. She took a deep breath. _C'mon, just say it, girl. You wouldn't want them to call you a coward, don't you? If you are brave enough to commit a mistake, you should be as equally brave to admit it and make it right. Your best friend is counting on you…everyone is waiting…there's no telling what they'll do to you if you refuse to tell them anything. You are way too outnumbered...out-powered. C'mon, just say it, okay?_

"Alright, alright, dammit!" Shi Mou Rou snapped suddenly, much to everyone's surprise. "I'll say it. Just stop staring at me like that, okay?"

Shi Mou Rou took a deep, shuddering breath and willed herself to speak.

"It's Lady Gyokumen ," Shi Mou Rou said softly, "She came up with this plan. To drug Sanzo, leave him without memory so that it would be easier to abduct him and steal his scriptures, then leave him helpless without his memory before killing him. Kougaiji hates this idea, since he knows that it isn't a fair fight but he could not do anything to refuse his stepmother. So he told me to cook up a potion which can erase memories permanently, and instantly. Like him, I hesitated at first since I knew by doing that I would just end up eating my own words. In the end, I made the potion, very concentrated and in minute amount so that I won't have to use it again. I tracked all of you down, found exactly where you were and put the potion in your cup when the waitress turned away. But I didn't expect Goku to drink from your cup!"

A pause. Then Gojyo said, "I also didn't expect Goku to drink from Sanzo's cup. He could have just ordered a fresh new cup of hot coffee or anything to replenish his drink instead of taking Sanzo's cup!"

"Maybe he knew that something would happen to Sanzo," Hakkai added quietly, staring at all of them. "He always knows if Sanzo's in danger or not. So maybe he drank Sanzo's cup to suppress that feeling. Or…I don't know…"

Gojyo sent Hakkai a meaningful look. "I know what you mean. We all do."

Sanzo stopped whatever he was doing. He simply froze. Only his eyes stared hard at the oblivious Goku. _That bakasaru! No matter what I do to him he won't hate me! That's why I hate having anyone being so close to me. I don't want others to take the trouble or assault meant for me! I don't want others to protect me! I don't want a goddamned monkey-brain, irritating bodyguard! I didn't ask for it! I swear I'll kill him when this is over! _

Then, unexpectedly, an inner voice penetrated through his murderous intention. _Are you sure about that, Genjo Sanzo? Do you really want to kill someone who is so faithful and caring and obedient towards you, someone who wishes nothing out of you except only for your presence, your voice and maybe a little attention and kindness even though he accepts your harshness? Answer me. Do you want to kill him?_

_Shut up,_ Sanzo snarled at the voice but he knew that deep down, even though he wanted to, no matter how badly, he could never harm that boy. Much less kill him. He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray violently in frustration of it all.

"How about the cure?" Shimara pressed, effectively breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Do you have it?"

Shi Mou Rou shook her head regretfully. "No. I don't have the ingredients. The cure is actually very simple and easy to make, but it's the ingredients that's hard to find."

"What are the ingredients then?" Hakkai asked.

Shi Mou Rou took a deep breath. "Moonflowers, white cherries, a bit of my magic and," Shi Mou Rou glanced sidelong way at Shimara, "a bit of hers. We have to grind the petals of the flowers, make juice out of the white cherries and sprinkle the grinded petals on it. Then we warm it up with a bit of our magic before we make Goku to drink it."

"Moonflowers?" Hakkai asked, deadpanned.

"White cherries?" Gojyo mused, incredulous.

"My magic?" Shimara said, flabbergasted.

Shi Mou Rou nodded helplessly.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Sanzo demanded.

"I'm afraid what she said is true," a voice suddenly interrupted. Looking up, they realized that it was the innkeeper. "I'm sorry for eavesdropping but your conversation is interesting. Moonflowers do exist, and so are white cherries. They thrive in the wild, cold regions of Mountain Sharmma, which is, fortunately located at the next village, three days away from here. These two plants are believed to have magical healing powers that can cure the rarest of toxins and diseases, descended from heaven, and the theory is proven true, to some extent. However, only the most respected and good-hearted people are allowed to go pluck the plants, if not, the villagers believe that a curse will befall on them if evil people do so."

"What does a moonflower and a white cherry looks like?" Hakkai asked, intrigued by the unexpected information.

"A moonflower is a beautiful flower with a sweet fragrance that perfumes the whole mountainous region. It will only bloom during full moon; hence it is called a moonflower." The kind innkeeper explained. "A white cherry looks exactly like a normal, red cherry, except that it is white. It grows around a cluster of moonflowers, is found only in small amounts and the best white cherries grow in snow-covered bushes, which are hard to find. Most people resort to the cherries around the moonflowers, though."

"The full moon," Hakkai suddenly spoke up, "It's a week away, I think, or less."

"Then we have to get going soon," Sanzo said, abruptly standing up.

The rest stood up as well. Sanzo smoothed his robes, and reached in for his gold card to pay when the innkeeper said, "Don't bother, Sanzo-sama. It's an honor for me to treat a highly-respected priest with his companions…I don't get to meet this kind of people everyday."

"Humph!" came the terse reply. "Whatever you say."

If the innkeeper was hurt by Sanzo's rudeness, he didn't show it. Nevertheless, Shimara decided to leave a good impression on him, as an apology on behalf on Sanzo's impoliteness.

"Arigato," Shimara said with a dazzling smile. "You're being kind and honorable. Your sincere generosity is greatly appreciated," she paused, squinting at his nametag, "…Kojima-sama."

Kojima blushed, all hurt feelings and ill-impression he had on Sanzo were instantly forgotten. Certainly no woman had flirted with him before, Gojyo noted amusedly. He waved his hand. "See you around, Kojima. Thanks a lot!"

Then the group filed out of the inn.

"There's gonna be a trouble, though," Hakkai said as Jippu transformed into the jeep.

"What?" Gojyo and Shimara asked simultaneously.

"There might not be enough space in Jippu to accommodate us all," Hakkai pointed out.

"Oh, that," Shi Mou Rou said easily. "No problemo. I got a handsome white stallion. Name's Stealth. Shimara and I can ride that."

With that, Shi Mou Rou whistled. A loud neighing answered back, followed by a rhythm of trotting hooves on the ground. Soon, as Shi Mou Rou had said, a handsome white stallion appeared, nuzzling her lovingly with its nose.

"He's beautiful!" Shimara breathed as she stroked the mane of the pleased horse. "The most beautiful horse I ever seen." Stealth responded by nuzzling her as well.

Shi Mou Rou giggled. "I think he likes you too."

"Can I be the rider, not the pillion, please?" Shimara asked, looking at her hopefully.

Shi Mou Rou stared at her skeptically. "You can handle a horse?"

"Hey," Shimara protested defensively. "I am pro in riding horses, bareback or no bareback."

"Okay," Shi Mou Rou agreed. "Let's just see how long you can stay on that saddle before Stealth has enough of you."

Shimara sent her a mischievous sidelong glance. "Fine. Challenge accepted."

"Oy, you two princesses there, are you leaving or not?" Gojyo shouted.

Shimara turned towards Gojyo, who was already seated in the jeep. "Yes! You guys leave first, we'll catch up later!"

Gojyo nodded, and the jeep lurched away. Shimara and Shi Mou Rou hopped on the horse, which rose and neighed in excitement before setting down and galloped at full speed at Shimara's signal. Within minutes, the horse caught up with the jeep and had no trouble keeping pace with the vehicle. With that, the journey was resumed…to the west.


	7. Chapter 7:The Journey To Goku's Antidote

**CHAPTER 7: THE JOURNEY TO GOKU'S ANTIDOTE**

**Day One:**

**The Conversation**

"Wah..!" Goku said happily, looking at the passing scenery. "This is beautiful…!"

Gojyo raised an eyebrow at him. "Beautiful? It's just trees and rocks!"

Goku tilted his head to frown at Gojyo. "They're beautiful… and it's so….huge…I thought everything is small…"

Gojyo looked at Goku irritably, yet with concern. "Maybe you spend too much of your time in the cave…makes everything looks so dark and small…"

Goku drew back in fear that the mention of the cave. Hakkai saw this through his rearview mirror and said warningly. "Gojyo…!"

"Damn," Gojyo cursed. Then in much gentler tone he said to Goku, "I'm sorry."

For a moment Goku didn't blink, then he smiled brightly. "It's okay…at least I am not alone now…or in the dark…I got friends and I'm so happy!"

Gojyo managed a half-hearted smile and lit up a cigarette. When he extinguished the flame of his lighter, Goku looked surprised.

"What's that?" he asked. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Gojyo snapped, suddenly out of patience.

"Maybe he refers to your lighter, Gojyo," Hakkai said patiently.

"Oh…_that_," Gojyo said, smiling sheepishly. He took out a lighter and lit it up again for Goku to see. "Look here bakasaru, this is a lighter and the thing on top of it is a fire. See?"

Goku leaned closer, staring at the flame in genuine child-like curiosity. _Damn…if he's keep staring this thing's will be out of gas…! And this is the last one I have!_

Then, unexpectedly, Goku reached out a finger to touch the flame directly. With a yelp of pain he drew his finger back, and Gojyo immediately snapped his lighter off.

"Bakasaru! What do you think you are doing?" Gojyo half-shouted, grabbing the little hand and examined the finger closely. It was red, but not burned. "Are you going to burn yourself, you idiot?!"

Goku looked up at him with his huge golden eyes. "I didn't know it's hot…the color is beautiful…so I just wanted to touch it…"

Gojyo shot Goku a killer glare. "You are really an idiot!"

"Gojyo!" Shimara said warningly from her perch on the horse. She glared at him. "Mind your language! And be sensitive, please!"

"Alright, dammit!" Gojyo shot back angrily, then stopped when he felt a light feathery touch on his hair. Turning around, he saw Goku stroking his hair carefully.

"Sugoi!" Goku exclaimed happily, clearly unaffected by the brief heated exchange between Gojyo and Shimara. "It's red and beautiful, like the fire, but it's not hot!"

All insults died on Gojyo's lips the moment Goku said that. He stared dumbfounded at the boy, who still looked at him with a smile that tugged at his heartstrings. Inadvertently he was pulled back to the time when Goku had said that when they first met each other. The same innocent, childish expression on Goku's face… and his words, that his hair is like fire instead of blood, changed the perspective of his life, and hair since then.

Goku frowned at Gojyo. "What's wrong? Did I say anything that hurt you?"

Gojyo blinked, then shook his head slowly. "No…it's just that…I have a feeling that you have said this to me before…"

Goku looked puzzled. "I did?"

"No, you didn't," Sanzo said sharply. "Maybe he had mistaken you for somebody else."

Gojyo forced a smile. "Yeah, that's it. Maybe I was mistaken."

There was an uncomfortable pause, until Shimara shattered it. "Hey, aren't you guys in the jeep hungry or thirsty or something?"

"I'm hungry!" Goku wailed.

Hakkai chuckled, even Gojyo smiled. "Now, that's the Goku we missed!"

"And what you want to use to feed him?" Sanzo asked. "Horse manure? 'Coz we don't have any supply right now."

"You're right," Hakkai said. "We didn't buy any supplies from that village."

"You guys are so… gullible!" Shimara sighed in exasperation. "Not to mention forgetful and not forward-thinking. How can we survive three days without any supplies?"

"Well, what do you have in mind?" Gojyo challenged.

As Shi Mou Rou watched in amazement, a large leather bag materialized in the air in front of Shimara. Shimara grabbed it with a hand and tossed it to Gojyo who caught it just as deftly.

"What's this?" He asked as he carefully opened the bag. His eyes lit up when he saw what's inside. "Hey, it's Guinness! Seven cans of them! Huh? What's this? Gatorade? Mineral water? Hey, and cup noodles! Biscuits as well! And _sweets_? Whoa, you got instant coffee and Milo too! Hmm… Sanzo's ammunition…lots of it. And packets of Marlboro cigarettes! Did you buy all of these?"

Shimara shot Gojyo an irritated look. "No. I steal them."

"Where do you get all those money?" Sanzo asked. "These things are sure expensive. And I'm sure as hell I didn't lend my card to you."

"It is, alright," Shimara admitted. " And you didn't lend the card to me. Like I have said earlier, I got a lot of money to waste. See this?"

All of them turned to look. "A credit card?!"

"Hey, and it's gold too!" Gojyo pointed out. "Like Sanzo's!"

Sanzo immediately began to check his pockets. "It can't be! I have mine!"

Shimara laughed as if they had told her the funniest joke in the world. "It is mine, silly, and the Three Aspects gave it personally to me. I was summoned to the Sanbutsushin in the Shayouden, umm, about three years ago and then they asked me to accompany you guys. This card is to keep me going."

"But only the highest ordained priests were granted an audience with them!" Sanzo argued. "You are not a priest nor a nun or a monk, aren't you? Much less a respected one!"

"I am neither," Shimara answered with a casual shrug. "Beats me why _they_ summoned _me_ there, of all people!"

"Maybe the rumors are true," Hakkai said suddenly. "That you are indeed a reincarnation of the fighting god, Nataku's sister, fighting goddess Natasya. If not they surely won't allow any ordinary people to visit them."

"Whatever," Shimara said brusquely, not caring. "I don't know who Natasya is, but I am glad to be with you guys, rather than wandering around the world aimlessly trying to figure out what to do with my life."

Shi Mou Rou flinched at that. If only she hadn't left with Kougaiji…

"Whoa, so you are destined to be with us," Gojyo mused, smiling at her. "That's cool."

Shimara smiled back. "Yeah, it's cool."

"And it's cool that I don't have to use my credit card on you idiots," Sanzo murmured.

"Hey," Shimara protested. "We can take turns using our cards. That's fair."

"When do you buy those things anyway?" Hakkai asked. "I don't recall you going out or returning with items."

"Remember the time when I left after Shi Mou Rou had her nightmare?" Shimara reminded them. "I actually left to buy those things at a 24-hour departmental store. I returned without any because it's too heavy for me to carry, so I just snapped my fingers and the luggage disappeared into my magic pocket!"

A gentle snore interrupted their merry conversation. Looking around, they saw Goku sleeping leaning against the Jeep's seat, his face serene with a hint of smile on his lips. He wasn't snoring as loudly as he usually did, and though with the smile, he did look uncomfortable. Like any caring big brother would do, Gojyo gently rearranged Goku's position; lowering the boy down on the jeep's seat and placed the boy's head on his lap. Goku mumbled incoherently in his sleep, then was silent again. Gojyo looked at Goku affectionately without realizing it. Hakkai saw it through his rearview mirror and smiled. He lowered the jeep's speed just as Shimara commanded the horse to trot. Sanzo was dozing off.

"Maybe we should stop and rest a while for continuing," Shimara suggested softly. "All of us are tired to the bone, and it's already late."

Hakkai nodded. He was tired too. Hell, his back ached like hell. A rest would refresh him up for the next part of the journey. Dutifully he pulled the jeep near a shelter of trees rather deep on the roadside. Shimara and Shi Mou Rou mounted off the horse, did some mild stretching before settling on the ground. Stealth, too, kneeled down and curled into a sleeping position. Hakkai himself rested against the steering wheel and closed his eyes. Underneath him Jippu seemed to relax. Then he felt and hear nothing more, as the haze of sleep that hovered above him just now finally descended on him, sweeping him in the sea of peaceful and pleasant dreams…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day was beautiful. Goku was glad that it helped lighten Konzen's mood…lightened it enough for Konzen to allow him play among the field of pretty flowers. Too bad Nataku could not come along to join him. But Goku didn't mind. He was truly enjoying himself, laughing as he chased the butterflies and frolicking among the flora. He was so happy playing he didn't notice a woman standing in his path that he bumped into her.

Goku fell hard on his butt. "Ow…"

"Are you okay, little boy?" The woman said kindly, leaning down towards him and offering a hand.

Goku stared at her. The woman looked so much like Nataku…sad, golden eyes, spider-like fringe falling over her brow and black hair, except that it was way longer than Nataku's…with the overall posture like a…warrior…Could it be that this woman was…

"I'm okay," Goku replied, reaching for the hand and allowed the woman to pull him up to his feet. "Gomen…I didn't mean to bump into you."

The woman smiled. "It's okay."

But Goku wasn't satisfied. He felt that he was in the wrong. "I should have paid attention when playing but I didn't and…"

"Don't worry, it's okay," The woman insisted, "It's not your fault. It is mine. I shouldn't have stood in your way when you are playing so happily. What's your name anyway?"

Goku beamed and held out a hand. "Son Goku."

The woman smiled. "I am Natasya." She shook Goku's small hand.

Goku cocked his head and examined his newfound friend. "Are you okay? You look kinda down."

Natasya was startled. "Am I?"

Goku nodded. "Yeah. You look kind of sad…and lonely. Is there's anything that has been bothering you?"

Natasya wanted to say that she was alright, that she had no problems at all but when she looked into the huge, innocent and hopeful golden eyes, she found it difficult to refuse him anything.

"Well…I…" She hesitated, wondering if it's worthy to tell a complete stranger what's really on her mind. Taking one look at the boy again, she decided to plunge straight on. "I…just wish to see my little brother…even for a few mere seconds…for one last time…"

Goku frowned. "Nani? You got a little brother? Sugoi! But…what's his name?"

Crystal tears formed in her golden eyes. "Nataku…my little brother's name is Nataku."

"What!?" Goku was so surprised he took a few steps back.

Natasya stared at the startled little boy. "What do you mean, _what_?"

Goku stuttered in an effort to explain. "I-I mean…I don't know Nataku's has a sister…he never told me!"

A sorrowful look crossed her beautiful features. "He didn't tell you because he didn't know that he has a sister. He was very young when I was forced to leave him…he can't possibly remember me…or that he even has a sister…"

Goku looked genuinely confused. Natasya managed a smile and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Goku. If you ask your friends about me, I'm sure they will tell you everything they knew…"

"But why don't you tell me yourself?" Goku demanded.

Natasya shook her head. "It's too complicated for you to understand….and too painful for me to talk about it…your friends are able to put it into simple words for you."

"But what if my friends didn't want to tell me?" Goku challenged.

Natasya couldn't help but smile. Something about this boy made her want to smile despite the agony raging in her soul. "Maybe you can approach Tenpou Gensui or Kenren Taisho for the story. They are at least kind enough to tell you but don't ever approach Konzen Douji. He is tight-lipped and won't tell you anything. He might even tell you off!"

Goku frowned. "How do you know that they are my friends?"

This time Natasya was astonished. "You mean, Tenpou Gensui, Kenren Taisho and Konzen Douji are your friends?"

Goku brightened up. "Yes. Ten-chan, Ken-niichan and Konzen are my best friends."

Natasya arched an amusing eyebrow. "Even that bad-tempered Konzen?"

Goku's head bobbed up and down. "Yes. He can be nasty sometimes…but he is still my friend!" Goku looked up at her quizzically. "Wait, how do you know that they are my friends? I didn't even tell you."

Natasya laughed. "I am just guessing. By the way, they are my friends too."

Goku looked at her with huge golden eyes. "They are?"

Natasya nodded. "Yes. We were really close back then, before my father sent me down to fight some demons. Boy how I miss them."

"You wanna meet them?" Goku asked with an excited smile. "I can show you!"

Natasya laughed and ruffled Goku's hair affectionately. "It's okay, Goku. I don't want to disturb them anyway."

Goku's face fell. "You are going away? So soon?"

Natasya nodded sadly. "Yeah. I'm tired. I'm going to take a rest. Thank you, Goku, for making my day today…I will never forget the wonderful time I have with you."

Goku smiled. "Me, too."

"Here…" Natasya reached inside her pocket and gave Goku a beautiful pendant. "Give this to Nataku for me…say to him his sister says hi…tell him I love and miss him so much…"

"I will do that, Natasya," Goku said firmly. "I will tell Nataku that he has such a wonderful, great and loving sister."

"Arigato, Son Goku…" Natasya said with a smile, though tears cascaded down her cheeks. Then she hugged him. "Be a good little boy, Goku…listen to your friends…they are the only ones who can protect you from the harsh Heaven treatment. Send my regards to your friends as well…tell them I miss them too."

Goku nodded wordlessly. He watched as Natasya slowly got to her feet and turned around. He watched her as she walked away from him, and kept on watching her until she disappeared from his sight. A light glinted and he looked down. Natasya's pendant was shining like the setting sun. Goku closed his hand around the pendant. He had to search for Nataku to give him this…he had to search his friends to tell them about his conversation he had with Nataku's sister.

And he did…running towards Konzen's room. He was surprised to see Kenren and Tenpou in the room too.

"Konzen!" Goku shouted. "Konzen!"

"What?!" Konzen demanded, glaring at the little monkey. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"A friend of yours sends you her regards," Goku said seriously once he was able to breathe properly.

Kenren sent Konzen an amused glance. "I didn't know you have a girlfriend, Konzen."

"Me, neither," Tenpou added with a mischievous grin.

"Shut up, both of you!" Konzen snarled. He glared at Goku again. "Now what nonsense are you spouting about, saru?"

Goku looked mildly hurt. "A friend of yours sends you her regards."

"Who the hell is she?" Konzen demanded.

"Natasya," Goku said simply, then began to smile happily. "She said she misses all of you!"

"Natasya?" The three of them gasped simultaneously.

"Yes," Goku's head bobbed up and down. "I met her while I was playing in the field. She looked kinda sad and she said she misses Nataku. She won't tell me anything but she told me to ask you about her. Who is she, actually?"

"What do you know about Natasya?" Konzen pressed.

Goku frowned. "She only said that Nataku is her little brother, and that she wanted to see him for one last time, even for a few seconds. And she gave me this—" Goku produced the pendant from his pocket and showed it to his friends, "—to give to Nataku when I meet him someday."

Tenpou took the pendant from Goku's hand and began examining it. "Yes, she is Natasya; the Heaven's only fighting goddess and Nataku's only sibling."

"Huh?" Goku was confused and Tenpou handed him back the pendant.

"Like Tenpou had said, Natasya is the Heaven's only fighting goddess and Nataku's only sibling," Kenren explained patiently, lighting up his cigarette and began to inhale it deeply before continuing. "Actually Li Touten wanted to create Nataku first, but his experiment went wrong and Natasya was born instead. He was humiliated because he wanted a fighting god to do his dirty work for him, not a girl."

"But Natasya wasn't an ordinary girl," Tenpou said, "She is a fighting goddess, the most powerful and skillful fighter in existence. No one in Heaven was able to surpass her skills, and they began to hate her because of it." Tenpou paused; anger glinted in his dark eyes briefly before continuing. "Not only because she was invincible…because of her beauty too. She was so beautiful… but everyone believes that her beauty was a curse for her strength. To make things worse, she has golden eyes, the symbol of heresy," Tenpou stared at Goku. "Everyone hates her then…but that was what Li Touten planned all along. He wanted Natasya to be hated by the Heaven people so that he could find a way to banish her, or at least make her leave Heaven permanently."

Goku gasped. "How cruel."

Kenren nodded. "Yep. Li Touten is a cruel old bastard. He didn't expect Natasya to live through all the criticism and harshness of the Heaven people towards her .She didn't just live through, she lived through it with a happy smile. Despite all the harsh treatment, she learned to be a kind, caring and cheerful woman who loves to sing whenever she had the chance. Her voice…and her songs…are very, very enchanting. Soon, a lot of the Heaven people began to love her voice, and love her as one of them. But she was hurt by all their criticism towards her, and of all the people there she chose us to be her best friends."

"Why?" Goku asked.

"Because we didn't condemn her, you idiot!" Konzen replied sharply.

"Nataku was created when she was 12 years old," Tenpou continued, his eyes distant. "She loves that boy so much she didn't even leave his side for a second. But when Nataku was old enough to remember people and understand words, that was when Natasya was 19 years old, Li Touten sent her down to fight the King of Chaos as her first assignment. She succeeded quicker than he thought and he sent her down again to fight tougher demons while he groomed Nataku to be his fighting puppet. But she wasn't as obedient as Nataku as soon as she realized what her father was up to. Once she refused to go down to fight the Mayhem Witch when Li Touten ordered her to. Since she is a fighting goddess, no guard was able to defeat her, until when Li Touten threatened to kill Nataku in front of her, she finally, reluctantly obliged. She had no choice but to go down and do as she was told. We haven't heard from her for years until now…"

"So she has returned safely from the fight," Konzen said, seemingly not caring. "And now she is looking for her brother. If she is to find out what her brother had become…"

"Li Touten is in for a really good bashing," Kenren finished with a dark satisfaction.

"But what if Li Touten commands Nataku to kill his own sister?" Tenpou asked worriedly.

Everyone was silent for a while. Then Konzen spoke up, "That's why Goku has to give that pendant to Nataku."

Tenpou nodded knowingly. "Yes. Goku, you make sure you give that pendant to Nataku as soon as possible."

Goku smiled. "Don't worry; I'm looking for him right now!"

"No, not yet," Kenren said, shaking his head. "It's God's birthday tomorrow. You won't get the chance to see Nataku. You can do that after the festival."

Goku's face fallen drastically. Tenpou clapped Goku's shoulder jokingly. "Cheer up…in the meantime, let's eat. You are starving, aren't you?"

Goku brightened up almost instantly. "Yeah! More than starving!"

"Let's go, then," Tenpou said with a smile as he ushered Goku outside. Before he closed the door behind him, he sent Konzen and Kenren a grave look, which the two of them understood so well. After sending Goku to sleep later, the three of them had a lot to discuss about.


	8. Day Two: The Unexpected Ambush

**DAY TWO:**

**The Unexpected Ambush **

Shimara swam in and out of her sea of dreams, relishing the deep peace that now blanketed her soul. She saw images of her companions flashed by; Gojyo's mischievous and cheeky smile and his crimson eyes that, despite the radiance, reflected a grave childhood; Hakkai with his soft serene but obviously false smile on his lips and his sad emerald eyes that concealed the agony of his past; Sanzo's lips pressed in a grim line, _always_, and his amethyst eyes that revealed nothing but the heartless man he had become as a result of his master's untimely death…to protect him; Goku…ah…the high-spirited boy who was neither a youkai, human nor a god, a boy with a cheerful smile that lit his eyes like miniature suns, a boy whose eyes were so golden, so expressive and innocent his presence alone comforted anyone. And then there was Shi Mou Rou. Her best, true childhood friend, and still is, was just as she remembered; beautiful hazelnut eyes, a charming smile and an attitude that were all still unchanged throughout the years…

Then all images dissolved, and a new, unfamiliar one appeared. A young boy, as young as Goku, with big, golden eyes, like Goku's, but full of torment…he had long spider-like fringe falling over his eyes and a bun behind his head…Shimara didn't know who this kid was, but she felt an unfamiliar closeness towards him, the feeling that as if she knew him…loved him…for unknown reason her heart wrenched in sorrow, to see her brother –wait, where did that come from? –like that, in that heart-wrenching condition…

A suspicious sound broke through the haze of her dream, and the image of the boy began to fade away. She heard herself, her voice screaming "_Nataku!!_" in anguish before she was yanked unceremoniously into reality. Instinct made her rolled away from something that breezed past her ear and crashed hard into the ground. Her senses were already heightened even before she was fully awake. Instinctively she got to her knees and swept the feet from under her assassin with a leg. As the fog of disorientation finally cleared from her mind, she glared at her assassin with lethal contempt.

"Now that was a _rude_ wake up call," Shimara told the dazed demon. "And a truly despicable cheap shot. I'll kill you for that."

She did, and whirled around to look for Shi Mou Rou, who had disappeared, along with Stealth. Then she heard a whistle. Shimara snapped her head around and saw Shi Mou Rou hiding behind a huge tree, with Stealth nibbling the grass beside her. Shi Mou Rou winked and gave her a thumbs-up sign. Shimara nodded in comprehension. She rushed to Hakkai's side.

"Are you okay?" Hakkai asked, looking at her with concern.

Shimara nodded, a sword materializing in her hand. "Yep. A close but rude wake-up call. I'll live but what the hell's going on?"

"I don't know," Hakkai replied. "It's an ambush…a real rude and crude one. They might have succeeded in killing us all if we are inexperienced in combat. In other words…if we are not alert enough."

"True," Shimara agreed, standing back-to-back with Hakkai as she warily accessed her enemies. "Unfortunately, they picked up the wrong targets for their little butchering game."

Several demons lashed out, and Shimara responded by slashing off their limbs with her sword. Behind her Hakkai was flinging off his ki attacks. Sanzo's shots were ringing through the air as he mercilessly killed off his assailants. Gojyo and Goku were engaged in a fierce battle with the youkais around them. Or rather, Gojyo was the one engaging in the fight, and Goku was standing still, obviously puzzled.

"Can you fight?" Gojyo had to bellow to Goku to be heard in the din of snarling and growling of demons.

Goku nodded enthusiastically. "My favourite. But I need a weapon to be able to defeat them all easily, Gojyo-niichan."

"Good," Gojyo answered, ignoring on how Goku pronounced his name. "Now say Niyoyi Staff."

"Huh?" Goku was confused.

"Just say it!" Gojyo snapped, his curved blade flying around, decapitating his enemies and showering the ground with blood.

"Niyoyi Staff," Goku said, frowning.

"Say it louder!" Gojyo shouted.

Goku obeyed. "Niyoyi Staff!"

The staff materialized in his hands. Goku's eyes widened in surprise as the red and gold staff appeared in his hands.

"Good," Gojyo praised. "Now fight. You are on your own now."

Goku nodded. Instantly he leaped into the fray, his staff whirling around and knocking a few youkais off their feet. He fought like he was born to do it, but then, he _was_ born to do it. No matter what, whether he realized it or not, Gojyo kept an eye on that saru as he fought.

"Give it up," the leader of the youkai snarled. "Give me Shi Mou Rou and we will leave you pests alone."

"As if you will," Gojyo snarled back. "You and your little buggers never stop following us around like some pests yourselves!"

"Give us Shi Mou Rou," the youkai repeated coldly.

"Give you who?" Shimara asked, perfectly confused but the Sanzo-ikkou knew it was an act; an excellent act. They immediately caught on what she's playing at.

"You know who, dammit!" The youkai roared, then glared at Shimara. "And who the hell are you?"

"Oh, Shi Mou Rou, that bitch," Sanzo sneered. "I afraid we haven't seen her anywhere. She's probably too scared to hunt us down again after her foiled plan to poison me!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" The youkai snapped. "She was sent for an assignment and she didn't even return to report. So we assumed you have held her captive, which you probably did."

"Don't be so sure," Shimara told him. "Wherever she had gone to is none of our business. And whoever she is has probably lost on her way. If she has gotten to us do you think we will be standing here and mocking you?"

"Damn you!" The demon spat. "Kill them!"

The army of youkais attacked them again with renewed fury, so much so the Sanzo-ikkou was forced to stand back-to-back against each other as they returned the attacks.

"Oy, Shi," Sanzo said, reloading his gun with vehemence.

Shimara grunted as she blocked a descending sword with her own. Then she swiveled her foot at the demon's abdomen and sent him flying through the air. "What?"

"Why didn't you use your magic and spells and save us a hell lot of trouble?" Sanzo demanded, beginning to fire again.

"Oh, I decide to change my fighting tactics now," Shimara replied breezily, her bloodied sword moving so fast it made a net of steel in front of her. "I have enough of using magic to fight, for the moment, and I haven't used my beloved sword for a very long time already. Besides, I want to save my magic for important uses."

"Yeah, right," Sanzo muttered under his breath. His bullets found their marks on the attacking youkais' skulls and chests, blood spurting out to decorate the baked ground underneath their feet.

Goku felt a sense of déjà vu, fighting with the people he knew were familiar. He knew he had seen them before somewhere…sometime…if only he could remember where and when…Goku's eyes widened when he saw a youkai with an axe dashing towards the busy Gojyo with a murderous glee.

"Gojyo-niichan! Watch out!" Goku shouted, leaping away from his attackers and rushing towards his new friend. He leaped straight up and brought his staff crashing down heavily on the youkai's unsuspecting back.

Gojyo turned around just in time to see the axe-wielding youkai collapsed on the ground in a bloodied heap, and Goku looking down at the demon with profound hatred.

"Hey, nice move Goku," Gojyo said, grinning at him. "Thanks."

The nagging thought that had been deep inside his skull surged forward and he suddenly felt himself to be in an entirely different place…and different time…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where am I?" Goku asked himself quietly as he whirled around, seeing nothing but tons of the heavenly people within his radius. "If Konzen knows I'm gone, I'll be dead meat."

It wasn't his fault that he had wandered off. Blame it on his curiosity for he had never seen so many people before, or a festival nonetheless. He could swear that he hadn't move far from his keeper but now his keeper was nowhere in sight. Suddenly the people or the festival did not matter to him anymore; all that mattered is to find Konzen. He was so absorbed in his search he didn't see anyone heading for him. He realized that he had been bumped into only when he found himself falling on his butt, hard, on the ground. He looked up, glaring at the sneering faces.

"Hey, watch where you're going you stupid itan!" The man spat.

"Hey!" Goku cried out defensively. "I didn't bump into you. You are the ones who bumped into me! Are you guys blind or something?"

"Shut up!" The man roared. "How dare you, a heretic, speak to me like that! It is a real shock to see a simpering moron pick up a nasty little pest under his wings."

Before Goku knew it, he sprang up from the ground and smashed his knuckle, hard, across the man's jaw. The impact of it was so hard the man's head snapped around at the force, blood spurting out from his mouth.

"Nobody called Konzen a simpering moron!" Goku said hotly, his golden eyes flashing with feral anger. "Nobody insults Konzen and gets away with it!"

"Why you little…" The man roared and reached for Goku, who was ready for it. Then the man was suddenly yanked backwards.

"Hey…" A voice said softly. "It's shameful of you heavenly people to bully a kid like him. Haven't you got any dignity?"

Goku looked up, surprised at the interference. No one in heaven would back him up except for—

"Ken-niichan!" Goku said happily, his anger forgotten for a moment. At least he wasn't quite alone anymore.

Kenren Taisho smiled down affectionately at the young boy. "Hi Goku…where's Konzen?"

Goku made a face. "I don't know. I walk a little and then he's gone. Got to find him before he finds me and kills me."

"You shouldn't be wondering around if you know he's like that," Kenren advised.

Goku sulked. "You can't blame me. I couldn't help it…there're so many people around…"

"Yeah," The man snarled, wiping his bruised mouth. "There're so many people round…for him to kill…Humph…what a disgrace…"

"It is a greater disgrace for such a respected general to befriend a heretic pest," The other man sneered.

Kenren felt his temper flared. "Hey! you think all those who live here, in Tenkai are _perfect_? Excuse me; I think the humans down there behave a lot better than you people. Geez, just because we live in heaven doesn't mean that we are _perfect _or _superior_ or _honourable_. Huh, you'll be amazed on how terribly black some of our hearts are."

"Why you--" The man roared again and reached for Kenren this time but a gentle, soft voice interrupted them.

"What's all this fuss about? Geez, Kenren, I'm truly amazed."

Kenren looked up and quirked a quick grin. "Oh hi, Tenpou, just in time you are here. I'm just having some fun that I've been missing for ages…"

Goku's eyes lit up, so much so his eyes glowed like miniature suns. "Ten-chan! How come you re here? I thought you are busy!"

Tenpou Gensui made a face. "I am, but I was forced to attend this…festival… anyway I can check up on you guys too. So what exactly happen here?"

"Some people here thought that they are _perfect, _and they insulted our little friend over here, "Kenren explained, sending a sidelong glance at the seething men. "And Goku's got separated from Konzen."

"My, that's terrible," Tenpou said sympathetically, then shot an mild angry look at the fidgeting men. "And what you see here is a heretic, yes, but he is really a kid. Would you like people treat you the same way you did to him?"

"Geez, Tenpou," Kenren said in disgust. "It's no use talking to them. They won't listen. Let's just say we talk to them in an entirely different way."

Tenpou arched an eyebrow at his best friend. "Meaning?"

"Oy!" A voice shouted at their direction. "Would both of you be quiet? There is an important ceremony going on and the God expects complete silence!"

Kenren rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah… important... important my ass! Every year is the same old boring monotonous speech from the old geezer…I can practically memorize the good old speech myself!"

"Kenren…"Tenpou hissed, looking around furtively as if to see whether there was anyone who heard Kenren's monologue.

Goku giggled. "Ken-niichan…you're funny…say…let's find Konzen together, ne?"

Kenren laughed. "Not yet, little monkey…we got some business to take care of in here!"

Before anyone could say anything, Kenren turned to the crowd. "Hey people! If there is anyone of you who hates me please come forward and beat me up! You don't get this chance everyday, do you?"

"Kenren!" Tenpou hissed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, I think that this festival needs a little entertainment," Kenren replied breezily without turning to look at Tenpou, his muscles taut and ready to uncoil for a good fight. "Besides, I haven't been fighting for so long…"

Tenpou smiled. "You have the point there, my friend. I think I need an exercise, too."

"Join the party, Tenpou," Kenren said just as several men threw themselves at him.

"Mind if I join in?" Goku asked enthusiastically.

"Sure…why not?" Tenpou replied, effortlessly blocking an enraged backhand from a cross-eyed man and returned one of his own.

The fight drew more people in; either they too, need some entertainment in the mundane and monotonous God's birthday, or that they had not been fighting for so long, or they were just plain angry that there were someone who dared defy the God by creating a distraction. Either way, Tenpou, Kenren and Goku were having a lot of fun. It was indeed surprising to realize that their fighting abilities had not yet dulled after years of sitting around like ducks in Tenkai. More people came to fight, but none of them were able to take out the three best friends. Instead all of them found themselves choking the dust on the ground

Goku's heart was soaring with happiness. He had not had so much fun in his entire life before! As he leaped into a flying kick or throwing a devastating punch at his opponents, he wondered if Konzen would get angry at him for being in this melee. Of course he would…Konzen would always assume that he was the one causing trouble…

A swift movement from the corner of his eye interrupted his thoughts. Realizing that the movement was not aimed at him but at Kenren, he shouted Kenren a warning.

"Ken-niichan, watch out!"

Kenren turned around just on time to see a tall man with murderous intent glinting in his eyes lunging at him, but then a small figure leaped straight up and executed a powerful roundhouse kick that impacted on the man's jaw so hard Kenren heard bones snapped. Kenren smiled at the young boy in admiration and gratitude.

"Thanks, kid," Kenren said sincerely. "You got a nice move there."

Goku beamed, then suddenly yelped in pain as someone painfully twisted his ear.

"What the bloody hell are you doing, bakasaru?" Konzen yelled, tugging mercilessly at his ear. "I told you to stay with me and stay out of trouble!"

Kenren came forward and threw an arm around Konzen's shoulder good-naturedly. "Hey, go easy on the kid. He deserves to have some fun, you know."

"Yeah," Konzen huffed. "And got me in trouble." Throwing a glare at his two so-called friends, he said, "And just what the fuss is all about, huh?"

Tenpou grinned. "Oh…it is just a mere distraction…I find this particular festival is too boring for my taste, so an entertainment is in order."

Konzen glared at Kenren. "Get your stinking arm off me!"

The general rolled his eyes but obeyed. "Man…you are no fun."

"Listen up, everyone," Konzen announced in a serious, seething voice that silenced the whole hall. Everyone turned to look at him. Even the God stopped speaking. "I am acting on behalf of my friends here. Since they have unashamedly created a chaos in this holy festival, I take the responsibility to escort them out of this event to ensure that they will not create any trouble for the God. Now, if all of you would excuse me…"

Konzen turned and led the smiling Tenpou, Kenren and Goku out of the speechless hall. They almost reached the gate when one of the guards came running towards them, "Hey, you can't! This festival…"

Konzen glared at him, who backed away immediately. Smirking, Konzen and his band continued his way outside, unaware of the heretic fighting god, Homura who stared enviously at them…their closeness…their friendship…and Goku… from the within of the shadows of the gate…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A sharp agony yanked Goku out of his flashback. Blinking Goku realized that he was still in a battlefield, and his friends were fighting around him. He too, realized that his arm was bleeding.

"Oy, Goku, you okay?" Gojyo shouted.

Goku was too dazed from his flashback to answer, or acknowledge Gojyo's presence as his red-haired friend approached him. Gojyo examined Goku's arm, and then he noticed Goku's dazed expression, like he had just been woken up forcefully from a sleep or something…

"Damn!" Gojyo cursed. "You aren't supposed to be day-dreaming when you fight, bakasaru! Now look at your arm!"

"I'm sorry," Goku mumbled. "I—"

"Forget it!" Gojyo said sharply. "You get out of here and go to the clearing over there. Stay there until we are done dealing with these damn buggers."

"But…" Goku started to protest when Gojyo cut him off.

"No buts! I can't afford to let you fight if you can't focus! You will end up getting yourself killed! Now do as I tell you to."

Goku nodded forlornly and headed for the clearing. Damn…his arm hurt like hell…but he couldn't just stay here and watched as his newfound friends fought for their lives. If only he—

"Psst!"

Goku looked up.

"Psst!"

Turning his head, he saw a woman hiding behind a huge tree with her horse. Goku crunched his brows in puzzlement. This woman must be…Shi Mou Rou, his other friend. Brightening up, Goku headed towards her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" He asked as he sat down beside her, leaning tiredly against the tree trunk, instantly realizing how tired he was.

"Oh…I…" For a moment Shi Mou Rou didn't know what to say. "I have to take care of the horse, you see and hey, you're bleeding!"

Goku looked blandly at his arm. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not," Shi Mou Rou said, ripping of a strip of her cloth from her shirt. Before Goku could protest, she gently but effectively cleaned and bandaged his wound.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I shouldn't have done this to you."

Goku was confused. "Do what to me?"

Shi Mou Rou stared at the young boy, her heart aching for him. God…he was so innocent…so young…he wasn't supposed to be caught in this war…he was supposed to play and have a happy childhood…Shi Mou Rou shook his head. No…Goku wasn't an ordinary child…he wasn't even human…and she doubted he was even born to be like a normal child, but she knew, there is always a child within him, and that child is looking expectantly at her for her answer.

Shi Mou Rou managed a smile and shook her head. He didn't need to know anything, for now. "Uh…it's nothing. Trust me, it's nothing."

Goku looked as if he didn't believe her, but then his uncertainties dissolved away when he heard familiar footsteps behind him.

"Whew!" Shimara said, her face flushed with sweat and mild fatigue. "That was fun but tiring! They are damn persistent, aren't they?" She paused, then her features brightened up when she saw Goku and Shi Mou Rou. "Oh hi, there. Hey, Goku, are you okay? Gojyo told me you are hurt. Wanna me to nurse your injury?"

Goku smiled as he shook his head. "I'm fine. Really. Shi Mou Rou-san has done a really good job in bandaging my arm." Goku looked at Shi Mou Rou with grateful golden eyes. "Thanks."

"It's okay, kid," Shi Mou Rou replied reassuringly.

Sanzo snorted derisively. "I doubt he will even be thanking you if he ever finds out what you actually did to him."

"Chill guys," Hakkai intervened before Shimara could defend her friend and anger Sanzo more. "We got two problems at hand. First, on how Goku got distracted, and second, on why our ally here is hiding away from her master's men."

"Because she is a cowardly idiot, that's why!" Sanzo accused, glaring hatefully at her.

"Hey! Stop accusing me like that!" Shi Mou Rou shot back. "I hide not because I'm afraid…it's because I don't want them to take me with them! Sure, I can just walk out there and let them take me, but then no one will know how to create Goku's cure! I am not planning to leave without having Goku healed!"

"So are you saying that you want to take the responsibility for your actions?" Sanzo sneered.

Shi Mou Rou stared hard into Sanzo's eyes. "Yes. Just be thankful that I'm actually kind enough to stay behind and help. Why would I even bother to help my enemies that I supposed to assassinate?"

"Enough, both of you," Shimara intervened sternly. "Now that we are together, it would be hell lot better if we just cooperate until we achieve our objective. Yelling and accusing each other will not help one bit."

"She's right," Hakkai said. "Maybe we can start on our journey again?"

All of them turned towards the abandoned jeep but stopped when Shi Mou Rou said, "About Goku's distraction back there…the flashes of his past memories has started."

Gojyo whirled to face her. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

Shi Mou Rou stared at Gojyo coldly. "I'm talking in simple English. If you don't understand a thing on what I'm saying, then you must be a lot worst than I thought."

Gojyo started for Shi Mou Rou, but Hakkai pulled him back gently. "You mean, Goku has started to remember his past?"

Shi Mou Rou nodded as she corrected the position of her horse's saddle. "Yes. Judging from his distant expression during the fight, it is clear that he is advertently being pulled back into his past."

Gojyo's expression softened. "But…why now?"

It was Shimara who answered. "Well, the reason is simple. Or so I thought. Perhaps it got to do with something you said that made Goku accidentally remember what he shouldn't."

"Enough talk," Sanzo interrupted. "Let's get on the jeep and let's get going! We are wasting precious time!"

Without another word the Sanzo-ikkou and Shi Mou Rou left the area and continued their journey to the next village.


	9. Day Three: The Conversation 2

**DAY THREE:**

**The Conversation (2)**

Shi Mou Rou sat by the large beautiful lake, gazing silently at the rippling surface of the water and the reflection of the moon. Behind her, the Sanzo-ikkou were having an animated dinner; with Gojyo's and Goku's voices ringing through the night, Shimara's merry laughter, Hakkai's quiet voice as he tried to keep his companions silent and Sanzo's seething hiss through his teeth in an effort to stay patient. Shi Mou Rou did not even flinch when Sanzo and his gun finally exploded. The Sanzo-ikkou was always like that as she had been briefed long ago…lively, cheerful yet dangerous to be around with, especially around Sanzo. What puzzled her was that she had never been briefed about Shimara…could it be that Kougaiji and his company didn't know that Shimara ever existed, or that the Sanzo-ikkou had found a new ally?

_Shimara, huh…_ Shi Mou Rou thought, gazing ahead into the starry night sky. _Is it true that I have a best friend all along? It all seemed so weird…my memories that had been locked away for years suddenly flooded my head the moment I heard Shimara's story…I dreamed of it too…the fragments of my past…I remembered the genuine feelings I felt, and as the young me. It couldn't be a lie! But…what if my memories are being manipulated?_ Shi Mou Rou shook her head in denial. _No…it can't be…_

"Hey," a soft feminine voice broke through her reverie, and she instantly realized who the person was. Shimara… "Mind if I join in?"

Shi Mou Rou nodded. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

Shimara sat down beside her, and Shi Mou Rou was pleasantly surprised when Shimara handed her a piece of tuna sandwich.

"Here, eat it," Shimara said kindly. "You didn't join us for dinner."

"But…I am not hungry," Shi Mou Rou protested.

Shimara smiled a smile that Shi Mou Rou found too familiar. "It's okay. You got to eat something to last the night."

"Thanks," Shi Mou Rou stuttered, then awkwardly began to nibble on her sandwich.

"Don't mention it," Shimara said dismissively. She stared up at the night sky. "It's good to be together again…at least for a while…still…it's hard to believe that we are so close yet so far apart…"

Shi Mou Rou swallowed hard. She had nothing to say to that.

"Why, Kisami, why?" Shimara asked, her voice now choked with unspoken grief and pain, "Why you leave me so suddenly? We are best friends. True friends. I have no one else but you! But you left me, without even telling me why, without even saying goodbye to me…you left me alone in the confusion…how could you? We once promised to stick together no matter what, right? What had happened to the promise? I am so loyal…even after all these years, even after you left me without a word, I still care for you. Still worrying about you and praying every night for your safety wherever you are. Still hoping you are doing the same, to me but…to think you have completely forgotten about me…that our friendship even exists…"

Shimara trailed off. She turned away, unwilling to let Shi Mou Rou see her tears.

"Shimara, I…" Shi Mou Rou began hesitantly.

"Shut up and listen to me!" Shimara snarled, rage flashed despite the tears in her eyes. "I know you want to get your memory back by working with Kougaiji, and that Kougaiji talked you into following him. I have actually forgiven you for what you did to me, but what I can't simply forgive and forget is that you trusted Kougaiji more than you trust me, your best friend! I am hurt by that alone, and that hurts more than any physical pain. Why did you do that to me, Kisami? You could have consulted me first. If you did, Shugo wouldn't have died and we wouldn't be like this!"

"You…you don't understand!" Shi Mou Rou blurted out defensively.

Shimara glared at her friend. "Then make me!"

Shi Mou Rou swallowed hard. "I can't."

Shimara narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"I can't!" Shi Mou Rou repeated angrily. "How can I make you understand the plight I am in when I myself don't understand this whole situation? To tell you frankly I don't remember anything about the day Kougaiji took me away, and from there I don't remember anything about my past, or you especially. All I know is that Kougaiji once told me that he has my memories, and in order for me to take it back I have to work for him! I got no choice but to obey!"

Shimara laughed bitterly. "So I guess…" She paused and looked away again. When she continued, her voice was soft and teary. "I guess…this is the end of our friendship that we have built for so long, huh? There's no point in continuing when just one of us is hanging on… while the other has completely forgotten about it. So much for an everlasting, eternal friendship…"

"Shimara…"

"Our destiny can't be to fight each other," Shimara sobbed. "We were friends …true friends!"

Shimara was pleasantly surprised when Shi Mou Rou's hands clasped over hers. "Don't say we were! We can be friends again!"

Shimara managed a watery smile. "I'd like that, but is it still possible?"

"Nothing is impossible, Shi," Shi Mou Rou said warmly, "I may not remember you, or our friendship. In fact I didn't remember that at all but as soon as I saw you, I started to remember, though the gist of it. When I saw you, I feel like I know you, not just know you, but I feel a closeness towards you which I hardly felt towards anyone else. Then I realized that you are different, that we are somehow connected. All the while I am under Kougaiji I felt that something is definitely missing from my life, and it's sure not my memories. So when I saw you four days ago, I suddenly realized that the missing thing in my life is you! After meeting you, my life feels complete, now. You give me back my memories of my past, of our friendship…and I know who I am now. It is way much better than to live without any memories of the past. So, arigato..."

Shimara's eyes widened. "So you can remember your past now?"

Shi Mou Rou looked away. "Yes, a bit. I only remembered them the way they are presented to me, in my dream and flashbacks. Nothing else. To get the full memories I have to get it from Kougaiji. He has something that can make my memories complete. I swear, after getting all my memories back I will return to you!"

Shimara looked forlorn. "You mean, we are going to be separated again…after all of this is over?" Before Shi Mou Rou could reply, Shimara shook her head and sniffed. "Of course you are going away again. You have to be with Kougaiji, just like I have to be with Sanzo. If we are seen together we will be labeled as traitors. We don't want that, do we?"

Shi Mou Rou smiled. "Thanks for being so understanding, Shi."

Shimara snorted. "Aren't I always? Sigh…looks like I have to wait again, huh, before we can finally be together?"

"Looks that way, Shi," Shi Mou Rou said quietly. "I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do…there's nothing that can fully express my apology towards you. I feel…so inferior…like I don't deserve such a noble friend like you…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shimara said sharply. "Don't say that! I understand your situation, and no matter what you are my best friend, forever! You are not inferior, and I am not noble. Get that right. I don't care if I have to wait a million lifetimes for you, as long as you still remember me and still treasure our friendship. That is all that I asked. Please…don't disappoint me…don't let me down!"

"I won't!" Shi Mou Rou promised, then leaned forward and hugged her best friend tightly, as if never wanting to let go. "Trust me, I won't!"

Shimara smiled, ignoring the fresh tears that spilled down her cheeks. "I know you won't!"

They were like that for a while…and without them realizing it the Sanzo-ikkou were watching them silently. Hakkai and Gojyo were sniffling, and even Sanzo had a much softer expression now. Goku was looking at them…marveled at their closeness and all this while trying to remember where he had seen those women. Then…_clang!_ Darkness enveloped him for a while, and when he opened his eyes he saw himself in another different place…and in another different time…again…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goku dashed along the corridor, towards Nataku's room. He had a lot to talk about to Nataku, and definitely something to show him. He could only hope Nataku was in his room. Even he was in there, Goku hoped he could be allowed inside.

As he neared his destination, Goku heard high, angry voices. Curious and wary, Goku hid behind a wall and peered from behind it. He saw Natasya, arguing with another woman, who Goku presumed was Nataku's guard. Since he was there, Goku couldn't help but eavesdropped.

"Please! You got to let me see Nataku!" Natasya was saying, her voice laden with desperation and rage.

"I'm sorry, Natasya, I can't," came the other reply. "I have my orders."

"To hell with your orders!" Natasya exploded. "Are your orders more than important than your humanity, Kitana? Why can't you let me see my brother for just a minute? I promise I won't do anything stupid to him!"

"Natasya, I know that, but I can't," Kitana insisted. "I'm sorry, but no one is allowed to see Nataku nowadays."

"Even his best friend?" Natasya snarled. "Or his own sister?"

Kitana nodded. "Yes. No one, not even Son Goku, or you."

"How—how could you?" Natasya cried, disbelief evident in her voice. "How can you be so hostile and cold towards your own best friend? Or am I right to say that during my absence you allowed others to kick your butt around and filled your heads with monstrosities and lies and turned you into what you are now? How can you allow them to strip you of your humanity? How can you separate me from seeing my own brother?"

"Natasya, that's enough!" Kitana said sharply, irked by the fighting goddess's accusations. "I have my orders, and my orders are to stop anyone from seeing Nataku. Should anyone refuse to acknowledge this order, I have the permission to bring this matter to the authority. And that includes you, Natasya."

"Oh, so now you hold your orders in priority more than your shred of humanity, Kitana?" Natasya sneered, her desperation gone now. "And do you expect me to turn tail when I heard of your order? I wonder what bribery Li Touten offered to you to make you so obedient towards him…and to betray your own best friend. Wait, am I right again to say that you are simply jealous that unlike me, you don't have anyone of your flesh and blood? Heh, that's a possibility!"

"Say all you want, Natasya," Kitana said coldly, ignoring how much it hurts to admit that Natasya's words had hit home. "You will not be seeing Nataku as long as I am here. Besides, Nataku didn't even know you."

"He will, eventually, "Natasya replied evenly. "But do heed my warning, Kitana. Nothing, no one, not even you or that simpering old geezer can stop me the next time I am here to see, or take my little brother with me."

"Li Touten makes sure that that time won't come, Natasya," Kitana countered with a menacing smile.

Natasya matched the smile with her own, but unlike Kitana's smile, Natasya's radiated the power and rage of a fighting goddess she really was. "It doesn't matter, Kitana. Do you ever heard of reincarnation? I have vowed to take my little brother with me, even if I have to wait for another million lifetimes for the perfect chance."

"Dream on," Kitana mocked, though Natasya's words chilled her to the core.

"Let me make this clear, Kitana," Natasya said darkly. "We are not enemies, and will never be. We are best friends, and we are meant to be like that one of us decided to change. I understand that you are bound by your orders, duties and responsibilities until you cannot give in to your conscience like the way you used to be. But it's okay. It's okay for me not to see my brother for now, but I want you to promise me something, Kitana."

Kitana knew that Natasya was lying about the part whereby it was okay for her not to see Nataku for the moment…she could see the sorrow evident in the woman's golden eyes. Torn by friendship and orders, she could only do something to her friend to make up for her actions. "What?"

Natasya looked at Kitana with an expression Kitana could not even read. "I want you to promise me to look after my little brother for me. I don't care how, but I don't want Nataku to be bullied by that old bastard!"

"I promise, Natasya," Kitana said firmly. "I will help you look after your brother. This is the least I could do for not being able to allow you see your brother. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Natasya said bleakly. "I understand. There's no need to explain. I have expected things like this to happen, anyway."

"Wait, Natasya," Kitana called out but Natasya had already disappeared. Goku chose that time to come out from his hiding place and headed towards the guard with a happy smile.

"Ohayo," Goku said brightly. "Can you let me see Nataku?"

Kitana answered him automatically. "No."

Goku made a sad face. "But—but Nataku promised the other day to play with me today."

"That's not my problem, boy," Kitana said, trying to be patient. "Now run along home."

"I won't leave until I get to see Nataku," Goku said stubbornly, raising his chin and looking at Kitana with an utterly defiant look in his golden eyes.

Kitana sighed. "You will get to see him later. Now leave! You are making things difficult for me."

Goku was about to protest when a pleasant voice interrupted him. "What's the problem here, Kitana?"

Kitana looked up. "Oh, Konzeon-sama, it's you. Gomen. This boy just won't leave."

Konzeon looked at Goku with a raised eyebrow. "Son Goku. I didn't expect to see you here."

"I want to see Nataku," Goku said insistently. Then he stared pointedly at Kitana. "But this woman won't let me."

Konzeon knelt down in front of the heretic. "Why do you want to see Nataku for, Goku?"

"I have something very important to tell him and show him," Goku answered seriously. "And he promised the other day to play with me today."

"I'm afraid Nataku won't be able to play with you today, Goku," Konzeon said softly, studying the now miserable boy in front of her. "But don't worry. I'll play with you."

Kitana was horrified. The idea of a Goddess of Mercy playing with a heretic boy was simply too much. "Konzeon-sama!"

Konzeon ignored her. She looked at Goku intently, who seemed to be hesitating. "Come now, Goku, there's nothing you have to be afraid of. I promise to you that today will be very fun for you."

Goku instantly brightened up. "Really?"

Konzeon smiled, amazed and touched at the young boy's pure innocence. "Yes. Now come along with me. Let's not waste time."

Konzeon led Goku to her study, where she decided to introduce him the game of chess. She was actually looking for a suitable time to ask Goku what he wanted to tell and show Nataku.

Konzeon taught Goku how to play chess and was pleasantly surprised to see him mastering the basics in quite a short while. Soon enough Goku was halfway through beating her in the game.

Goku was truly enjoying himself playing chess with Konzen's aunt, and what excited him most was that he was actually winning the game. Konzeon looked at him, wondering if it was the right thing to ask something that might shatter his cheerfulness but then decided to go for it.

"Ne, Goku," she began. She knew something in her tone must have caused Goku to look up from his game.

"Yes?"

"Since you are winning, can you tell me why you want to see Nataku so badly?" Konzeon asked politely, hoping that she had chosen the right words for her question.

Much to her greatest relief, Goku did not even falter or suspect anything. However, he did frown. "I just wanted to send him the message from his sister."

That shocked the Goddess of Mercy. "What? You have seen Natasya?"

Goku nodded proudly. "Yes, while I was playing in the field the other day. She looked quite lonely and sad, so we talked together for awhile. Before she left, she told me that she missed Nataku a lot, and she wanted me to give him this."

Goku took out the pendant and showed it to Konzeon, who examined it closely. Then Goku got an idea. "Say, Konzeon-sama, can you help me deliver that pendant to Nataku?"

Konzeon looked up and stared at Goku in disbelief. Can he actually read her mind?

Goku evidently mistook her surprise for ridicule. "Gomen…I didn't mean to make you look like a delivery person but…you can see Nataku almost anytime you want. It's hard for me, you see…and I'm afraid I won't be able to give this to Nataku at all and might even forget all about it."

"I understand, Goku," Konzeon said with a kind smile. "And I definitely don't mind giving this to Nataku."

Goku brightened up for the second time that day. "Really? Are you really going to do that?"

Konzeon nodded. "Of course."

"Then can you help me tell him too, that his sister misses him a lot?" Goku added excitedly, literally bouncing up and down in his seat. "And remind him about his promise to me?"

Konzeon smiled. "Yes, sure."

The door to the room opened suddenly and Konzen stepped in with an armload of documents. He looked really pissed off. "Oy, old woman, I got your stuff ready, so you better be grateful!"

"Konzen?" Goku said in disbelief.

Konzen looked up and was just as surprised to see him there. "Oy, bakasaru, what the hell are you doing here?!"

Konzen dumped the parchment on one table and marched over to Goku to give his ear a painful twist. "Didn't I tell you to keep to yourself and not cause me or anyone any trouble?"

"Ow…ow…ow!" Goku yelped in pain as Konzen continued twisting his ear.

"Konzen, it's not his fault," Konzeon intervened sharply. "I brought him here and taught him to play chess."

Konzen released Goku's ear and snorted. Goku rubbed his bruised ear and stared forlornly at his master.

"That bakasaru, playing chess?" Konzen mused, jeering at the boy. "You, teaching him? Can the already weird world get any weirder?"

"Believe it, or not," His aunt replied lazily. "He checkmated me."

Konzen stared down at the board game and could barely stifle a gasp. "He checkmates you? You are kidding, right? I bet you are giving him chances."

"She doesn't!" Goku said proudly.

"Fine, whatever," Konzen said irritably. "Let's just see how you can win against Tenpou. He's a genius in chess."

As Konzen led Goku out, Konzeon stared thoughtfully at Natasya's pendant again as she thought about what Goku had just said about his conversation with the fighting goddess. Finally she got up and dropped the pendant in one of her drawers, with the intention of giving it to Nataku when the time was right before heading out of the room.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oy, Goku, are you alright?" Hakkai's gentle voice penetrated through the haze of his mind.

Goku blinked, and he found himself back with his friends by the lakeside. For a moment he thought he saw Tenpou looking worriedly at him but he wasn't sure…

"Ten-chan? What are you doing here?" Goku asked, plainly confused. "I thought we have a game of chess to play. And why did you cut your hair?

Hakkai drew back, horrified. "Ten-chan? Cut my hair? Game of chess to play? Goku, are you really okay?"

"Hakkai, is something wrong?" Gojyo asked as he and Sanzo approached them.

Before Hakkai could reply, Goku stared up at Sanzo's and Gojyo's faces with surprise. "Ken-niichan? Konzen? You are here as well? But why did all of you look so different?"

"Goku, snap out of it!" Sanzo snapped irritably. "We are not what you think we are now."

"Demo…" Goku hesitated, studying their faces again. Then his face turned serious, even angry. "That's it! You guys are playing a trick on me again, aren't you? You think by changing your looks I can't recognize you?"

Goku stared pointedly at Gojyo. "You are Ken-niichan. I don't know why you grow your hair long. I think you look better with your short hair. And you do smoke too, right?"

Gojyo was shocked as he pointed at himself. "Me? Ken-niichan?"

Goku looked mildly annoyed. "Kenren Taisho." Goku turned to Hakkai. "You are Tenpou Gensui. Ten-chan. You used to have long hair and wear spectacles instead of the one you are wearing right now…and you used to smoke, too."

Despite the confusion, Gojyo laughed. "You are kidding, right? Hakkai with long hair and a cigarette in between his lips? That is simply…unthinkable! And here I thought he is a decent one!"

Sanzo glared at Gojyo. "Shut up!"

"Konzen! Why did you cut your hair?" Goku wailed. "You look better with long hair. Your aunt will be angry with you if she knows you have cut your hair!"

This time, Gojyo really couldn't stop laughing. "Sanzo? With long hair? And you have an aunt? Are you serious?"

That earned him a hard smack of Sanzo's paper fan. "I thought I told you to shut up!"

"What's the fuss here, guys?" Shimara's tired voice interrupted the small melee. The boys turned around and saw Shimara and Shi Mou Rou approach them.

Hakkai looked up. "Err…Shimara, we got a problem here."

Shimara shot them an annoyed look. "I can see that, Hakkai."

"Natasya!" Goku squealed brightly when he saw Shimara. "I thought I never see you again!"

Shimara frowned. "Natasya? Oy, Goku, just who are you referring to?"

Goku pouted. "You, who else? You are Natasya, right? You may have changed your black hair to blond and your golden eyes to blue, but you are still Natasya!"

Shimara was appalled. "Natasya? Me? Are you trying to say that my hair is black instead of blond and my eyes golden instead of blue? Are you saying that I am actually the sister of—"

"Nataku!" Goku finished for her with a glower. "Don't you remember?"

"Oh no!" Shi Mou Rou suddenly exclaimed, her horrified expression exactly mirrored Shimara's. All of them turned to look at her. "This is bad news! I think Goku is still in his flashback and he can't distinguish the difference between the reality and his forgotten past! To make things worst, we look exactly like the people in his past, minus the hairstyle and all!"

"You mean, Goku will call us those names?" Sanzo asked darkly. "Me as Konzen, Gojyo as Ken-niichan, Hakkai as Ten-chan, Shimara as Natasya…"

Shi Mou Rou nodded. "Exactly! Unless we create that antidote, he will never refer us as we are now."

"Kitana?" Goku's shocked voice as he regarded Shi Mou Rou. Then he sounded angry. "You are very bad! You won't let me see Nataku! You won't let Natasya see Nataku, her own little brother! How could you!"

Everyone was shocked and confused. They had no idea what Goku was talking about and why he was behaving this way.

"I hate to say this but..."Hakkai began, looking very troubled, "the names sound familiar…like I have heard it before…"

"I know," Gojyo drawled. "I have the same feeling too."

"Same here," Sanzo muttered.

"Could it be that we were once part of Goku's life?" Shimara guessed, her brow narrowing together in deep thought. "Or maybe now that we are their reincarnations?"

"It is possible if it is applied to you," Hakkai said, looking mischievously at Shimara. "The rumors said that you are Natasya's descendent, and even Goku called you Natasya too."

"You and that Natasya rumors!" Shimara retorted. "So what if I am her reincarnate? It might be an utter coincidence that she and I look alike!"

"Guys, stop it already," Gojyo groaned. "Okay, let's say we are the whatever reincarnates Goku said us to be. But where does that bakasaru live in the first place?"

"I am not a bakasaru!" Goku said hotly, glaring at Gojyo with flashing golden eyes. "And I don't know what's wrong with you people…but we live in Tenkai!"

"Heaven?" Sanzo sputtered. "How can a monkey like you live in Heaven?"

"Heaven?" Gojyo echoed in disbelief. "So you mean that we were once _gods_?"

Shimara groaned. "Okay guys…stop this already! So what if we once lived in Heaven? Now we didn't live there, do we? Now we are not gods, right? So stop daydreaming and get back to reality! For your information, it's way late at night, and we have to complete our journey to the next village by tomorrow!"

"She's right," Sanzo said grudgingly. "Let's get to sleep now. We have to start on the journey early next morning."

The party nodded wearily, and while they slept, the night sky slowly ticked off to dawn…


End file.
